After The Fall
by Tazzer
Summary: Grissom wants to make changes in his life after the Bloodlines case: A Gil & Cath story
1. Default Chapter

Title: **After The Fall**

Rating: probably R 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything CSI related, only my imagination.

Spoiler: Bloodlines

Note: This is my version of what happens after the season four eppy. I thought they all worked the graveyard shift, but this past season it looked like they work whatever was convenient for the director's shots. So in keeping with a real workday, my story assumes it's after shift, in the morning hours.

Thanks to Gomes for checking my grammar!

I love using music, so this new song by Hoobastank 'The Reason' is here because I like it.

**Chapter One**

'I'm not a perfect person, there's many things I wish I didn't do.

But I continue learning, I never meant to do those things to you.

And so I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know.

I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be.

A reason to start over new, and the reason is you.'

Grissom walked out of the office to his SUV for the short drive from the crime lab to the police station. It was a route he had taken numerous times while doing his job, but this particular trip seemed like it was the longest he had ever made. Actually, it was one he had no desire to make, yet unfortunately his position as supervisor mandated it. On the way he contemplated. Who was he to lecture her? There was many a day after a rough case that he would stop at a bar for a drink or two. Youth makes a person feel indestructible and then one day you realize that you aren't. That's when he turned to classical music for his coping mechanism. Yes, he still had a drink now and then to relax, not to drown out his existence in the world.

To say he was disappointed was an understatement. Even though Sara was a good CSI, she had many conspicuous flaws that became more apparent as the years past. He had wanted the best team in the country, but many a time Sara demonstrated she was not much of a team player. Yes, he was saddened to observe she was more interested in getting the recognition of solving a case, than to quietly bring closure to the families of the victims. She had started out wanting to be the star pupil, then the star CSI, and most recently the only one superior enough for the key promotion. He would have recommended Warrick in an instant for the key position if only he had applied. Now this latest development was all he could handle with her and the deciding factor.

He figured there was no need to embarrass her any more than she probable felt. He briefly wondered how long had she been drinking to excess. He didn't figure the last case prompted her to hit the bottle this day as she was not heavily involved in this case. He had no doubt that she would point the finger at him for her predicament, but he felt no responsibility for her personal choices. He knew in his heart that he could never give her what she wanted, so why would he even try to pretend.

He met and talked to the officer that had called him, actually the nice man talked to him and he just listened. The officer was polite and understanding as he walked Grissom to the waiting room. He casually thanked the officer and then the grave moment was at hand. He gingerly entered the waiting room trying his very best to read the situation. He gently sat down next to 'over the limit' Sara, slipped his hand over hers, and in a voice that was as gentle as a morning rain said, "Come on, I'll take you home."

Grissom waited for Sara to say all right, thanks, no thanks, or even just stand up and tell him to go to hell. What he got was nothing. Again in a gentle tone, but with a distinct question, "Sara?"

This time he received his response as she yanked her hand out of his and abruptly stood before striding out of the room. He let out a considerable sigh and rubbed his palms on his legs before getting up to walk after her. She was already outside the building when he caught up with her. Sunglasses covered her eyes from the glaring morning sun while she stood slouched over with her arms crossed in front of her. Once he got beside her, Grissom waved his hand toward his SUV.

Sara walked over to the passenger door still without a word leaving her mouth. When she heard the click unlocking the door, she pulled it open with a little more force than needed and got in. Grissom removed his sunglasses from his shirt pocket and put them on all the while hoping nothing would happen once he stepped into his SUV.

Sara sat as stiff as a board and looked straight ahead. Grissom started the engine and waited a few very long moments before stating. "I need directions."

Her tone was a hushed curt, "Left."

Grissom rolled his eyes as he thought to himself, _(Thank God there is only one way out of this parking lot or else I probably would have chosen the wrong direction.)_ He didn't want to, but he had to drive a little bit slower than normal because Sara would not give him more warning than a two word direction, like turn right or turn left. He had no idea where she lived or how long it would take to get there. For all he knew, she lived in Bullhead City a hundred miles away.

As the drive to Sara's apartment continued, Grissom could not remember the last time he felt so queasy. He could handle a lot of situations, he could handle Sara's moods, well sort of, but he was having a hard time with this one. The tension in the car was dreadful, but add the stench of the cigarette smoke coming off her clothes and the stale booze coming out of her pores created a combination that made him nauseous. Plus, the now unavoidable.

He knew he had to talk to her, there was no more doubt about that, but when? Like a master chess player, Grissom ran through each scenario to its completion. If he did it now while driving, then who knows what he would have to deal with the rest of the way? If he did it at work, then she would be pissed that he made her come in just to go back home. If he did it just before she got out of the car, then he would have a great escape. Yes, the last one was the best.

A muffled ring sound from his coat pocket. Fishing for the cell phone with one hand, he pulled it out to see the word 'Willows' on the outside display. He flipped it opened and pretended not to know who was calling. In a monotone voice, "Grissom."

The cheery voice of Catherine penetrated his eardrum. "Hey! I tried you at the office, but you didn't pick up. Don't tell me you're going home early for a change."

He tried to be cool, but he was extremely uncomfortable speaking to Catherine in front of Sara. He couldn't pin down the reason for the uneasiness, but figured it was because these two women had always butted heads and more so lately. "Yeah, something like that."

"Ooh. Listen, if you're not doing anything, how about cruising by and we'll celebrate your fantastic crime solving genius on that case?" A slight smile turned up one corner of his mouth and shoulders that were held tensely, suddenly relaxed. Her voice continued to sing, "Remember, like old times?"

Grissom grumbled out, "I don't know."

"I'm looking at this bottle of champagne that's begging to be open. Come on, you were **great** today and that deserves a toast." Her tone was just as sparkling as the bottle she was holding.

He pursed his lips to keep from smiling. He hardly ever heard how good he was anymore. Most of the time he heard just heard criticism from everyone. "All right, wait for me."

"Great, I'll put it on ice. See ya soon." With that Cath hung up and Gil flipped his phone shut. Catherine's voice could almost always put him in a better mood.

Sara didn't look at him, but she could feel his mood change instantly from the mysterious phone call. She seethed at the fact that someone, which wasn't her, could make him smile. The old green monster that lived in her heart for anyone that could have a better connection to this man that she had wanted for so long, reared its ugly head once again.

Her curt directions pierced the silence in the car with venom lingering behind the words. Grissom noted the malice that now accompanied her words. He was far from a stupid man and knew damn well the reason behind it. To be honest, he was growing quite tired of her attitude toward him as each day came and went since she boldly asked him out a year ago. His mother taught him to be compassionate and considerate, especially towards women, but Miss Sidle was testing his limits. She was a hard-headed girl and for what ever reasons, didn't accept his tactful indication that he was not interested in a relationship with her.

With a dismissive wave of her hand she indicated the end of this unpleasant trip. "Here's fine."

Grissom brought the SUV to a stop and Sara quickly unbuckled her seat belt. Her hand grabbed the door handle and flung it open. His stern voice stopped her movement out of the car. "Wait. Close the door." She reluctantly did so, but did not face him.

He turned his head to her. "Starting tonight, I want you to take two weeks of your vacation time." He pulled a business card out of his shirt pocket and held it out to her. "You have an appointment with Dr. Kanter tomorrow afternoon. You will be there or else."

Sara looked down at her feet. "I don't need a shrink."

Grissom lowered his voice. "Sara, you need to talk to a professional about what is bothering you."

Her head snapped to confront him as her drunken anger spilled out. "**He** can't tell me **why** you don't want to be with me." Behind her sunglasses her eyes burned from the deep hurt she felt as she finally gave it a voice. "**He** can't tell me why I'm not **good enough** for you. Why you **can't **take a chance with me. Only **you** can Grissom, and I want to know. I want to know **now!**"

This was the moment he had dreaded and tried his damnedest to avoid for the last few years. She wanted to know why, but she really did not want to hear the truth. His hand dropped to his lap still holding the business card between his fingers. There was no winning and he would certainly come out of it looking like a prick. He contemplated what to say if anything, when her voice pierced his ears.

"Now Grissom! I want the truth now!" Sara's aggression made a hornet look cuddly in comparison.

He took a deep breath which was not lost on Sara and just aggravated her even more. His protection was his sunglasses and he hid behind them as a knight would screen his body with a shield. "Sara, I'm sorry if you think I have misled you into thinking that I…….I had feelings for you. I'm sorry, but I don't."

"Bullshit! I heard you. I heard you say you couldn't take the new life I offered you."

Grissom sat dumbfounded. He had no idea what she was referring to. "A new life?"

"You were in the interrogation room talking to that doctor that killed the woman that looked like me. I heard it all, so don't try to act dumb."

Grissom was aghast at her confession. She had no justification to be there. A small part of him felt violated for her sneaking in and out of the police station, and hiding behind the two-way mirror. "You were spying on me?" His tone rang with the accusation.

Sara backed off her attack and whimpered out. "No, I was concerned about how the case was affecting you and I wanted…..I wanted to see if you were all right."

Grissom turned away from her and rubbed both temples on his head with stressed fingers. Something was amiss with what she said. _(Wanted to see me, not ask me?)_ His anger rose at the thought she was following him like a demented stalker. He turned back, and spit out. "And you just **assumed** I was speaking about you?" Her audacity caused him to cough out a disgusted chortle.

Sara didn't think she could get anymore depressed, but her idol's scoff made her feel lower than the belly of a worm. His next harsh words cut her to the quick. "I wasn't." His hand waved the business card in front of her stunned face, "I suggest you see the doctor and find a way to get over **this**."

She snatched the card and bolted out of the SUV. The word 'this' repeated in her head as she quickly headed to her front door. She struggled to get it open before collapsing to the ground. Inside the privacy of her darkened apartment, Sara crumbled to the floor weeping at the definiteness of 'this' that she had always thought was between her and Grissom was genuinely over.

TBC


	2. Chapter Two

Note: reviews are now being accepted, if they are truly reviews and not trash talk.

Thanks to Gomes for checking my grammar!

I love using music, so this new song by Hoobastank 'The Reason' is here because I like it and maybe something else.

**Chapter Two**

'I'm sorry that I hurt you, it's something I must live with everyday.

And all the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away.

And be the one who catches all your tears, that's why I need you to hear.

I found a reason for me, to change who I used to be.

A reason to start over new, and the reason is You.

And the reason is you.'

Gil drove to Catherine's home. Instead of celebrating the solution of the difficult case with her, he was now eager to forget the morning with Sara. He had to drive back past the lab and now go in the other direction. Thankful for light traffic in the morning, he made it in less than an hour. Ringing the doorbell, he remembered the last time he was at her home.

It was the day of Eddie's funeral and a small number of people were invited to her place after the cemetery service. At the time, he thought it was peculiar for Cath to host a get together in honor of her ex-husband, but soon realized she had done it for her daughter Lindsey's sake. Eddie might have been a crappy husband, but he was a good father to Lindsey, or at least the best he was capable of. Despite her grief, Cath was a gracious hostess and it wasn't until a few months later did he become aware of how strenuous becoming a single parent was on her.

Catherine swung the front door open and greeted him with sigh of relief. "God it took you long enough. Were you almost home?" She stepped aside and let him enter before closing the door.

He kept walking while taking off his jacket. When he reached the sofa, he tossed it over the back of it and then answered. "No. Ahh, something came up that I had to deal with."

"How about giving me a hand in the kitchen?"

"Sure."

Catherine took the champagne bottle out of the make-shift ice bucket and handed it to Gil. "Will you do the honors?" He nodded and grabbed a kitchen towel off the counter to wrap around the bottle. "Hey are you hungry?"

"No, I'm fine."

She looked at him skeptically, "When was the last time you ate?"

He fiddled with the wrapper and wire top, "Before shift."

Cath's tone was teasing, "You know better not to drink on an empty stomach. Let me make you something."

"No please. I don't want to be a bother." He expertly popped the top off the bottle without spilling a drop. Lifting the bottle up slightly in the air, "This is all I need right now."

Catherine shrugged and backed off. She opened the refrigerator to retrieve a plate that held slices of cheese. She added it to the tray containing crackers and two glasses and headed out into the living room with Gil trailing behind.

Settling into the sofa, Gil poured the pale-yellow bubbly into the glasses and then handed one to Catherine. She raised her glass to him, "Here's to the finest CSI in the world. When others give up, the brilliant Gil Grissom digs deeper."

With a brilliant smile she tapped their glasses together, listened to the joyful tinkle fade, and then took a sip from her glass. Gil grumbled to himself at her complement and gulped his whole glass down. Not waiting for Cath to catch up, he poured another glass full, and then sat back to relax. She eyed her friend suspiciously as she fixed a cracker with cheese.

Dipping a fingertip into the cool liquid, Gil then ran his wet finger around the rim of the glass. The inexpensive wine glass sang a not so sweet tune. "No caviar to go with your champagne?" There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Catherine sat back biting her tongue. She could tell something had happened to put him in a foul mood, and decided to tread lightly. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I never acquired a taste for the stuff."

He held the glass slightly up, "Unlike your newly acquired taste for a touch of the bubbly?"

It was evident from his cynical comments that Gil was bothered by her taking Sam Braun's money. Cath was taken aback that he thought she was now up-grading her lifestyle and spending the money frivolously.

Not wanting to argue with him, she decided to explain. "Actually this bottle has been sitting around since my divorce became final. One of my girlfriends gave it to me saying I started the marriage with a glass, I should end the marriage with a glass."

Gil was a mouthful away from finishing his second helping as he looked down and swirled the liquid around the bottom the glass. "And the reason why it wasn't opened until today would be?"

"It was a nice thought, but I never felt like celebrating something I failed at." She quickly drank her half full glass down.

Gil refilled his glass and when Cath shoved her now empty glass in front of him, so he could refill hers. "You didn't fail, Eddie failed you."

Cath snorted, "I failed at keeping him happy. I allowed my job to interfere in my family life and I lost it."

Normally he would not say anything to Cath about her personal life, but the alcohol had quickly lowered his inhibitions. "You can't blame yourself. Ed was just that type of guy who could never stay faithful because." He stopped himself from continuing. He didn't want to hurt her, hence the reason why he never said anything to her about Eddie cheating all those years ago.

Cath was stunned at his forwardness and then by suddenly stopping mid sentence. She waited a few long moments for him to continue, when he didn't, she did. "Well, don't stop there. Come on, I want to hear it. You owe it to me."

Gil leaned forward and fixed a cheese cracker and hastily popped it into his mouth, promptly followed by a few more. The champagne was really starting to mess with his equilibrium and the thought of some food to absorb the booze sloshing around his empty stomach sounded logical.

Cath fixed him with a look that signaled there was no escaping. "Gil?"

Cracker crumbs stuck in his mouth and throat causing additional liquid to be guzzled to wash them down. Almost three glasses consumed and the connections in his brain were becoming sluggish. A hand waved in the air, "Look, I….ahh it wasn't you, because you know." He bowed his head as if ashamed to divulge his truth. "You're beautiful and Ed was a dick. Men like him don't respect women. They're just a game. It's the thrill of the hunt and once he…..he beds them, well." His thought died on his lips as it was clear no more needed to be said.

Almost simultaneously they both drained what was left in their glasses. Gil snatched the bottle and refilled hers before adding more to his glass. They sat in silence for many a minutes looking anywhere but at each other. Catherine stood up and like a cat settling into a comfortable position to take a nap, she sat down with her legs bent under her. Her concerned, soft voice drifted over to kiss Gil's ear. "Hey, sometimes it helps just to talk about what is brothering you. You know you don't have to be Superman with me."

He knew that much was true since she was the one to see him at his lowest. To see him as a helpless, anxious patient. To see him humiliated as his ass was barely covered by a flimsy hospital gown. For the second time that morning, he reached over and held the hand of a female. He looked over, "Thanks, I appreciate that. I wish I could, but it's work related and confidential."

She raised her eyebrows intrigued. So, he would have opened up and told her what was bothering him today if he could.

Again, they sat in silence. For unusual as it was for them to touch, it had an air of being routine and neither made a move to terminate the contact. They always had an unspoken trust and appreciation that was always communicated with words or just a look. This morning it just felt right to express it physically. They played a tennis match by taking turns being the one to take another sip of their beverage. This continued until there was no more left in either's glass.

In a soft tone, Gil broke the stillness of their lips. "There is something I want to talk about. Cath….. how would you feel about……..taking over the unit?"

Unconsciously she pulled her hand out of his. "What!" Why are you leaving? Is it your hearing again?"

A soft, "No." was all he said.

"Then what is it?" Catherine's attitude was quickly becoming frantic. "Gil, I don't understand. You want **me** to be supervisor so you can….?" The question hung in the air until Cath saw a motive. With a voice full of accusation and hurt, she offered. "So you can be with Sara."

Gil vehemently shook his head, "No! God no. I…..I just can't do it anymore."

He set his empty glass down on the coffee table and turned sideways on the sofa to plead his case. "You said so yourself that you could do the job better than me. The last couple of days have finally made me recognize that I'm the happiest when I'm working a case and not trying to handle all the personnel issues. Besides, everyday I have to mentally prepare myself for the chance that it might be the day you turn in your resignation letter."

Both had enough alcohol running through their blood that the instinct of censoring what they said took a siesta. "What in the world would give you that idea?"

"You have all the reasons in the world to, but mostly because of Lindsey. She deserves a mother who can be there for her more than you can now. I'm sure a job working for Sam Braun…"

Catherine's voice cut him off and filled the house. "**SAM!** What the fuck makes you think I would ever go to work for that man."

"He's your father! We both know he could give you more money and more time off than the department can." Gil held up his hand to stop her rebuttal, "So I was thinking, maybe if you were boss, than you could cut back on your hours and give yourself the personal life you deserve. This way it would make work easier on both of us. Besides, I don't want….. to lose you."

Catherine sat back and thought long and hard about his offer. She would never go and ask Sam for a job, but if he came to her, the offer would be tempting. Not that she loved her biological father or even respected him anymore, but the mere fact that it would help her raise Lindsey would be the only reason.

She ran a hand threw her long golden hair, "I don't know Gil. I see how much time you put in and…"

He interrupted her. "No, you don't have to put that much time in because you won't have to take as many cases. Ecklie does it, so can you."

"So why don't you cut back on the case load? You deserve a personal life too you know."

"It's my choice not to have one. I'm no good with all that relationship stuff. I'm content being alone." He emptied the last few ounces of champagne into his glass. "Got any more of this?"

"No, that's the only one. You want to start on something else? I got beer, wine or vodka?"

"No that's all right." Gil kicked off his shoes and rested his socked feet on the edge of the coffee table. Leaning back until his head rested on the back of the sofa, he explained. "I get sick if I mix my alcohol."

"God knows I don't need that."

"Me neither." Twirling the little bit of liquid around in his glass, he went further into her personal life. "So how's things with your new friend?"

"Ohh, the same old crap I get from every man. You work too much, can I see you after work, can I see you before work, blah, blah, blah. Giv'me, giv'me, giv'me. I swear men are such babies."

Gil smirked at her exaggeration. "Does Lindsey like him?"

"He hasn't met Linds and I'm not planning on introducing them at this rate."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He was genuinely sorry to hear this new guy was not 'Mr. Right.'

"You know what I really want?"

His head rolled in her direction and then shook to indicate no.

"I want someone just to hold me after a rough day. Without all that other crap you have to put up with from guys. Really, is that too much to ask for?"

Not sure if she expected an answer or not, Gil again stared into his glass. "No, I think that's a…..not much to want."

He looked down into his glass as he thought about what she had said. Any rational part of his brain that was still functioning properly would have chimed it was time to go home. A large part of him was tried of doing what was proper, what was safe and what was expected of him. The champagne had weakened his policy of not mixing business with pleasure, but this was just comforting a friend. Right?

He drained the last drop in his glass and set it down. Turning his head, he quietly asked. "Cath, would….would you like that now?"

Catherine wasn't doing much better fighting off the effects of the alcohol, as she didn't keep up with the conversation that included long pauses in between exchanges. Her glossed over blue eyes looked over, "Like what?"

"Like to be held. I could do that for you. I wouldn't mind." He looked at her with a mixture of bashfulness and earnestness.

She looked back at Gil with a mixture of amazement and fondness. "Ahh, yeah that….that would be nice."

"How do you want to do this?"

Cath shrugged one shoulder to his question.

With no help from her, Gil scooted to the end of the sofa and swung a leg up onto it. Having his back resting against the arm, he motioned her to take a seat inside his spread legs. She did so, but sat upright. "You can lean back. You won't crush me, I promise."

Catherine had to slide down in order for her head to rest at a comfortable angle on Gil's shoulder. She swung both legs up onto the sofa and settle in. Gil carefully wrapped his arms lightly around her waist, making sure not to over step his boundaries. "Is this okay?"

She took a deep breath. "Mmm hmm. Thank you."

"Anytime you need this, please just ask." Cath placed her arms over his and covered his clasped hand with her own. "So tell me, how is Lindsey doing."

"She's doing better, but she still misses her dad terribly. It's especially hard on the holidays and…"

His smooth voice coaxed her to continue. "Go on. And what?"

She bit her bottom lip at her dilemma. "And when I have to work weekends."

He talked into her hair, "You never answered my question earlier about taking over the unit. As boss you could assign yourself the weekends off and spend that time with Lindsey."

"You're really serious about this."

"Yes I am. So what do you think?"

Cath rolled her head loosely from side to side, "Well what about Warrick. He'd be good."

"He wasn't interested in the key position, so I doubt he would volunteer for this."

"Okay, then Nicky."

Gil's cheek pressed further into her hair, "Hmm, now he was ready for the key job, but this is too much, too soon for him."

Cath held up a hand as if to say stop. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I could **stand** taking orders from Sara."

He chuckled out, "Me neither."

For some reason that tickled Cath's funny bone and she let out a laugh. This caused Gil's chuckle to turn into a laugh also. So they laughed together, the first time in a very, very long time. The silly mood triggered barbs to be volleyed back and forth.

She laughed out, "God, she'd **love** to have you as her whipping boy."

He cracked back, "She'd give you all the crappy cases."

Her finger poked into his hand, "She'd make you work only with her."

His hand squeezed her side harder, "She'd get you fired."

Cath roared back. "She'd fire Warrick because she finally could."

Gil refrained from voicing that Sara would get rid of Nick because he was recommended for the key spot not her. "She'd fire Nick because he's too happy."

Cath turned her head to him and asked. "What about Greg? He's always happy."

"That poor goofy kid would be the only one left."

"That's only until she finds out Greg kisses everyone's ass. Then he's outta there." Cath's thumb flew through the air like an umpire calling strike three.

They laughed so hard tears moisten the corner of their eyes. After a few minutes, the laughter died down and after composing himself, Gil hugged her tighter and said. "So see, to save the unit and especially me, will you please consider taking over?"

Cath patted his hand, "Let me sleep on it."

He let up on his hold and dreamily said. "All right."

Once again calmness enveloped the house. Catherine let her whole body relax into her friend while her head spun from the alcohol. With heavy eyelids, she softly said. "You really were great today. A chimera. Tell me, who the hell would've figured that out, but you?"

All the stress he walked in with had now dissolved into the comfort of Catherine's home. He no longer had a care in the world and sleep tempted him to come along. Sluggishly he answered, "You were right all along, it was Todd."

"No, Linley was right and I feel bad I couldn't help her."

"I know what you mean." The heat from his body rose up only to bounce off of her body and then migrated back down like a comfortable quilt. "Cath?"

"Hmm."

"You did help her by believing in her and getting me to look beyond the norm. Together, we nailed him and he can't hurt another woman again."

A slight smile graced her lips, "Thanks partner." Catherine succumbed to the land of dreams and missed Gil's whisper of. "You're welcome….partner."

TBC


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I don't own anything CSI related (_Damn_).

Spoiler: Bloodlines

Note: This is what happens when I begin to post before finishing a story, long delays because I'm such a slow writer. Thanks to Gomes for checking my grammar!

The song is by Hoobastank called 'The Reason.'

**Chapter Three**

'I'm not a perfect person, I never meant to do those things to you.  
And so I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know.  
  
I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be.  
A reason to start over new, and the reason is **you**.'

Later that afternoon, Catherine shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. Her trustworthy internal alarm clock began to wake her as it was soon time for Lindsey to come home from school. Once she was almost awake, she became aware of the snoring behind her. It was not so loud and deep that it could wake the dead, but rather hushed and unobtrusive just the like man it came from. She brought her wrist up to see the time, five minutes till three; she wished she could sleep another three hours.

She grimaced when she realized her stiff shoulder was do to the fact that she fell asleep on Gil. Somewhere along the way the two of them had repositioned their bodies so now they were on lying on their sides with Gil behind her. His one arm was heavy as it rested in the groove between her hip and chest. She blushed when she felt something firm between her butt cheeks. She knew she should get up, but the chance to learn something very private about the enigmatic Gil was too tempting. She leaned forward to create a space and slowly reached a hand behind her, her palm quivered, yet she continued. The goody-Catherine said what she was doing was wrong, but the naughty-Catherine urged her to find out.

Her naughty-self almost always won out and this time was no exception. She pressed her palm on his hardness and marveled how rock hard he was. The flood gates were now open as wicked questions raced through her mind. When was the last time he got laid? Or had a blow job for that matter. Did he masturbate often? Probably not judging by his rigid arousal. Was she the cause of it? Or was he having an illicit dream?

The tips of her fingers traveled his length causing a snore to be interrupted by wispy moan. Catherine's thoughts turned triple X-rated imagining him stretching her open, his thickness filling her, and making her cry for more as he moved within her. The erotic image of Gil hovering over her as he deliberately pumped into her, sped up her heartbeat and made her panties moist. The chiming of three o'clock from the fireplace mantle put the breaks on her fantasy and she quickly removed her hand off of his erection. Cautiously, she lifted his arm off of her body, placed it in front of his belly, and then slowly slid off the sofa. Before standing up, Cath looked at his peaceful, whisker-covered face and noticed how it screened the vulnerability which had always graced his looks.

Tip-toeing to the bathroom, Cath emptied her bladder, splashed cold water on her face, and ran a brush through her hair. Stealthily making her way through the house and out the front door, she sat on the shaded porch and waited for the school bus to drop Lindsey off. Her bare toes curled and flexed as her thoughts turned back to the man sleeping on her sofa. The fresh data that Mr. Grissom was packing major heat and not one woman that she knew of was benefiting from this asset made her think, _(__God, what a total waste of a perfectly magnificent penis.)_

Catherine had never looked at Gil in a lusty way mainly because his good-boy looks were too tame for her. But lately she had been reminded that looks are superficial and not anything to base an opinion on. Take her some-what boyfriend Chris for an example. He had a body and face like a Greek God, but inside was nothing interesting or of any substance. Sex was all he was good for and then kick his firm ass out of bed.

She still remembered when Gil had an okay body, but possibly a slowed down metabolism or too much stress in recent years had cause him to get plump around the middle. Unlike Chris, Gil was interesting, had plenty of substance, but was shy and closed off to personal relationships.

Catherine could hear the school bus as it rounded the corner and looked up to see it stop in front of her home. The door swung open a several seconds later Lindsey came down the steps. When she saw her mother waiting outside, she broke into a run up the driveway. "Mom!"

Cath held a finger to her lips indicating not to yell. She held her arms out and Lindsey dropped her backpack on the ground before sitting on Catherine's lap to enjoy a big hug. "Hi. How was school today sweetie?"

Linds pull back slightly to tell all, "It was okay. We had a pop quiz in math today and I got eight out of ten right."

"That's great honey." Cath held her daughter's chin between her finger and thumb, "I'm so proud of you honey, don't ever forget that. What else?"

"Betsy was telling us all about where she's going on summer vacation. They're going to drive all the way to Pennsylvania, and they're going to visit the town of Hershey, and stay in the hotel there, and eat all the chocolate they can."

"That's sounds yummy. You know, I heard you can have a chocolate bath there."

Lindsey's eyes got bigger, "Really!?"

"Shhh, not so loud. Gil came over this morning to celebrate solving a very difficult case and the poor fellow fell asleep on the couch. Say, I bet if you ask him to stay for dinner when he wakes up, he will."

In a hushed tone and a hopeful look, Linds asked. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do. You can tell him all about the vacation we were talking about taking this summer."

"When is he going to wake up?"

"I'm not sure. He looked pretty tired when he came over. Can you believe he works longer hours than me?" Catherine smoothed out her daughter's hair and separated it into three sections for a quick braid.

"I don't think anybody works harder than you."

"I know it seems that way honey. So what do think we should make for dinner?"

"Mac and cheese."

"That's a start, but I think Gil would like something to go with it. I know, roast chicken and a salad. Do you have any homework?"

"Just a little bit."

"Well you work on that while I take a shower. And be quiet, I don't want you waking him."

As Gil started to come out of a deep sleep, he immediately sensed that he was not in his bed. Before he could think where he might be, he had the impression that something was watching him. He knew it wasn't one of his arachnoids, because this had a creepy feel to it. Swallowing a nervous lump down, he slowly opened one eye enough to squint through. That's when he saw them.

Lindsey's big wondrous blue eyes were fixed on him as if she was watching a cartoon show. His eyes were dry and itched so he unconsciously brought a hand up to rub the sleep out of them. In a hushed child's voice, "Are you awake now?"

Gil cleared his parched throat and then croaked out. "Yes I am." Pushing himself up into a sitting position, he sat there while he got his balance.

Excitedly Lindsey asked. "Will you stay and have dinner with us? Pretty pleeeaseee?"

Scratching the back of his head, "Where's your mother?"

Getting up off the coffee table where she had sat watching Gil sleep, Lindsey plopped down on the sofa next to him. "She's taking a shower. So you'll stay for dinner?"

He didn't have a hangover; he was just having a hard time waking up completely. He rubbed his face with both hands wishing the cobwebs would get out of his head. "I don't know honey. I'll have to talk to your mother first." Gil wasn't sure if this was Lindsey's idea and he most certainly didn't want to overstay his visit without checking with Cath first. "Linds may I use your bathroom?"

"Sure."

Gil slowly stood up and wobbly walked to the hall. Lindsey reached for the remote and turned the TV on waiting for him to come back. As he turned the corner, he collide with Catherine who had a towel wrapped around her head and was wearing a pale blue robe. His hands automatically grabbed her upper arms to keep her from stumbling backwards. The jolt caused the robe to separate enough to expose a sizeable amount of cleavage and breast.

His still heavy eyelids were in a direct line to admire the creamy mounds of delight. The little pervert that lives in every mans loins conjured up an compulsion to bury his head between them, to kiss, to lick , to suckle and. Gil's dark blue, stunned eyes snapped upward to meet her twinkling lighter ones. Catherine didn't mind his ogling, in fact she took it as a compliment considering how closed off he was. He loosed his hold on her arms, but let them loiter in order to help steady himself.

Her long shower didn't entirely ease the naughty thoughts she had about Gil, so a little teasing was in order by making no attempted to pull the robe closed. "Hey sleepy-head, you're up."

His tongue rolled on his bottom lip, moistening it enough to spit out. "Yeah, sorry about falling a sleep on your couch." Realizing how close they had been standing, he took a step back, shoving one hand in a pants pocket and the other nervously ran through his hair. "I guess the champagne knocked me out."

Cath slide her hands into the pockets of her robe, "You and me both. Did you run into Lindsey yet?"

"Yeah, she asked me to stay for dinner. I wanted to check with you first though."

"She already asked me and I think it's a splendid idea. I left some towels out, a razor and a toothbrush in my bathroom. Why don't you take a shower, while I put the chicken on the grill."

His head tilted ever so slightly to the side, "You don't mind? I wouldn't want to interrupt your time with Linds."

"Mi casa, su casa." Cath had innocently scrunched her shoulders up causing her arms to push her bosoms together and pop out towards Gil.

"Okay, I'll just grab my extra bag from the car and…..do you want to get dressed first?"

"No, I'm fine like this. Why, does it bother you?"

"It's ahh, revealing. And.." He turned his head away to keep from looking down her robe.

"Gil, are you blushing. And here I thought you were immune to the charms of a woman."

"I'll get my bag." Quickly turning on the balls of his feet, he almost dashed to his car forgetting to even put his shoes on.

Catherine walked into the kitchen with a huge smirk from the knowledge that she was capable of getting him hot and bothered just like he had unknowingly done to her earlier.

While Gil was in the shower, Catherine threw a few chicken breasts and drumsticks on the grill. She asked Lindsey to turn them over when the buzzer went off while she got dressed for the night in Linds bathroom. Cath was all dressed minus makeup and in the kitchen fixing the salad by the time Gil re-appeared. He was extremely relieved to notice the flimsy robe had been replaced with more substantial clothing.

"Can I help with something?" He continued walking through the kitchen until he was standing next to Cath.

Turning her head, she leaned closer to Gil and sniffed. "Hmm, my soap smells good on you." He rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. "How about you start on the macaroni and cheese. There's the box and the pots are in that cabinet."

"Yes dear."

As he started on the side dish he smirked to himself. He wondered what Lady Heather would say about this scene. She had been the only woman in years that he allowed himself to be intimate with, yet he threw away any meaningful relationship with her because of his job. Once again, his insensitivity to delicate situations with people had killed her trust in him. Her offering of a private friendship had no visible end. She was a person he could relax with, share with and expose himself to. All she required from Gil was the same trust and respect that she gave him. Heather was not allowed to dominate him that night, but with petite Catherine Willows, he had no problem being submissive.

At the dinner table in between bites of food, Lindsey told Gil all about the vacation her and Cath had been talking about. A change of scenery and weather was the catalyst according to Linds, but in reality Cath wanted to spend as much time as possible with her daughter away from Vegas. They decided on humid Florida which had Disney's Magic Kingdom, Epcot Center, Universal Studios and miles of Atlantic Ocean shoreline.

After chocolate chip cookies for desert, Gil helped clean up while Lindsey got ready to go to her Aunt Nancy's house for the evening. Closing the door on the dishwasher, Gil turned to Cath. "Well I should get going."

Cath finished wiping her hands dry. "I'm glad you decided to stay for dinner. I know Linds enjoyed having you here and……well, I forgot how much I enjoyed cooking for someone."

His tone was softer than intended, "Thanks,…..for calling. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and I really needed it."

Some woman would find his bashfulness as a weakness; Catherine saw it as an enduring trait that contradicted his pokerfaced exterior. She moved a few steps to where he was resting a hand on the counter. "You know it works both ways. Anytime you need a home cooked meal or a drinking buddy, please just ask me."

His eyes drifted to the side to look out at the darkening sky rather than her enchanting eyes. His light joke didn't hold the conviction he intended. "You won't say that if I start making a pest of myself."

"Gil, despite what you think of yourself, you have a lot to offer." She squeezed his shoulder to make him look at her. "A lot to offer a woman." He rolled his eyes not believing her.

Cath strolled over to the kitchen table and sat down. "Changing the subject. Having slept on it, I will take you up on the offer to take over the unit."

His face lit up in surprise, and he quickly moved to sit next to her. "You will?"

Tossing her head to the side nonchalantly said. "Sure, why not."

"Cath thank you." He covered her hand with both of his, "You're a life saver."

"Hey, I do what I can. I just don't know how you're going to convince Cavallo about this."

Cocky Gil smirked, "I'll make the director an offer he can't turn down."

He let go of her hand and sat back in the chair with a content smile. In that instant, it felt like the boulder that had been pushing down on him for the past few years was lifted. He now felt lighter than a Monarch butterfly riding on the tail winds to Mexico for a winter vacation.

Lindsey's yell from the living room that she was ready reached the kitchen table. Gil placed his palms down on the table before pushing off from his seat. "I got a meeting to schedule and you have to get to your sisters." Not waiting for Cath, he began walking to leave. A thought struck him before exiting the kitchen and he turned around. "Oh yeah. We're going to be short handed for a couple of weeks. Sara is taking some vacation time."

Cath got up and walked over curiously. "That was sudden."

His sincere eyes did not look away. "When the time is right, I'll tell you all about it."

Catherine walked behind him as he retrieved his jacket and bag while on his way to the front door. He placed a gentle hand on Lindsey's golden head as she joined them the rest of the way. With goodbyes said Gil opened the front door to be stopped by Cath's hand. He turned around to answer her quiet request.

"I know what you were thinking and I wanted to say…I'm not spending my money frivolously."

Gil looked down at Lindsey and smiled. "I know." His eyes came back up to Cath's. "I'm sorry if I implied otherwise."

TBC


	4. Chapter Four

Note: I finally decided on my ending for this chapter and now that I am happy with it, you can now read it. Thanks always to Gomes for checking my grammar!

The last verse of Hoobastank's 'The Reason.'

**Chapter Four**

'I've found a reason to show, a side of me you didn't know.

A reason for all that I do, and the reason is you.

And the reason is you, and the reason is you.'

This night's work saw its share of normal cases, but no case is ever normal to those affected by crime. It was only normal to those CSI's working after the last couple of days hunting down the evidence in the Coombs case. Catherine and Warrick took the armed robbery at a gas station. Gil and Nick took the break in at a pawn shop. Both younger men knew not to ask Grissom why Sara was on vacation, since he was not known to cough up personal information. Both were left to wonder why she did not mention it the night before to them. Nick pondered calling her when he had a chance, but decided against it since her olive branch the day before was riddled with thorns.

It was a rare occasion that everyone was able to leave right around the normal end of the night shift. Gil stayed behind waiting for the clock to hit nine-thirty and his meeting with Director Robert Cavallo. He was sure he would have a hard sell, but he was ready to fight for Catherine, he owed her that much.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Sitting outside the director's office, Grissom refused to look at the wall clock and get agitated. Robert Cavallo's tactic of making Grissom wait an addition ten minutes before meeting with him only fortified Gil's resolve. Once inside the director's private office, Gil, like any good trial lawyer, spelled out why he needed to step down as supervisor and how Ms. Willows should take his place.

Robert's voiced boomed out. "You got to be kidding me! The one who blew up the lab?"

Gil volleyed back. "It was an accident and truth be known, I'm the one truly responsible. Suffice to say, that was the most noticeable incident that highlights my inability to manage. A good supervisor would have seen the stress Catherine was under at the time and taken action. If I did, none of that would have happened."

"No. I'm not going to award Ms. Willows with a promotion."

Gil appealed to the director's inflated ego. "Robert, if you don't, I can assure you this lab will drop down in the national standings. It would not look good to your friends in other cities that you couldn't maintain the best crime lab in the nation. Only second to the government funded FBI…..of course."

Robert eyed Grissom thinking he had found a flaw. "So are you telling me that the rest of your CSI's are not as good as you keep telling me they are?"

Gil smirked, the director would have to do better. "No, they are the finest in the country, but they're still too young to be saddled with this position. I guarantee that if you went with one of the kids, within six months the lab will drop to number ten in the country with many invaluable lab techs leaving for better opportunities."

The director swiveled his chair away from Grissom to mull over the consequences of what was just said.

After a few minutes, Robert turned his chair back to Grissom and leaned his elbows on his desk. "Let Ms. Willows handle the personnel part of your job, that way you can do what you like best."

Gil threw in one more card. "Look, my mother is getting up there in age and I feel it's time I went back to LA, took a teaching job at UCLA, so I can take care of my mother. Catherine is the only one who knows the city inside and out. She has the best crime experiences after myself, and is the only one that could take my place immediately."

Robert shook a finger at him, "Grissom are you playing hard ball with me?"

"No sir, I'm just stating facts."

Robert leaned back and rocked his chair. "I'll admit, I may have been a little hard on you last year. The loss of your expertise would be a tremendous blow to the department. Perhaps your mother would like to move here and Ms. Willows could become co-supervisor."

Gil pursed his lips and thought. "Perhaps."

"The only sticking point would be our tight budget. There is no money for a raise with the promotion."

It was Gil's turn to sit and ponder. It wasn't all he wanted, but Cavallo was willing to deal. With fingers tented to his mouth, he quickly ran some numbers. "Correction Robert, there is money available. Cut my salary to raise Catherine's. If you want us to be co-supervisors, then we should get equal pay. After a year, if you believe Catherine has proved herself then make her sole supervisor and allow me to completely step down."

Robert raised an eyebrow, "And if I feel she hasn't proven herself?"

"Then we keep the co arrangement and I have to convince mother of the wonderful benefits to living in Vegas." He casually flicked his hand.

Cavallo stood up, "Gil you got deal."

Grissom rose, "Effective immediately?"

"Yes. My secretary can handle all the details with you."

The two men shook hands and Gil left with a slight victory smile. After finishing up the paper work and writing a memo with the announcement, Gil finally left for home. Once he was in his SUV, he really wanted to call Cath and tell her what transpired, but it was eleven in the morning. He knew she only had a few more hours of precious sleep before Lindsey came home from school and he didn't have the heart to wake her.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Gil's hand came up from under the covers to turn his alarm clock off and end its cheery melody. He yawned and stretched to get his blood moving. Pulling the covers back, he stepped out of bed and headed into the bathroom to start the evening. He fixed a dinner of broiled fish with broccoli, and after he had cleaned up, decided it was time to call Catherine. He had guessed right as she and Lindsey were just sitting down for dinner. He asked if he could stop by before work to talk to her.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Pulling up in front of Catherine's home after a quick stop at the store, Gil got out of the SUV and opened the back door to retrieve a carton of ice cream from the cooler. He had learned the first week he lived in Vegas to always carry a cooler for grocery shopping or just to keep some bottles of water cold. After he rang the doorbell, he could hear Lindsey's feet stomping as she ran to the front door.

"Hey Lindsey, I brought desert." He handed her the plastic bag and she took off with it. Closing the door behind him, Gil couldn't stop from smiling at Lindsey's excitement.

Catherine stood in the doorway between the living room and kitchen with hands on hips. "You're going to spoil her."

Taking his sunglasses off and placing them in his inner coat pocket, "Do you mind?"

She thought about it before grinning. "I suppose not."

"Mom! I need help. It's too hard!"

Catherine smirked as she thought of something else he brought over that was too hard. She waved a hand at Gil, "You brought it, you scoop it." Just as he past her, a delicate arm ran across his shoulders and ushered him in the kitchen. "Please tell me it's some kind of chocolate?"

He grimaced, "Sorry, for some strange reason when I was trying to decide which one to pick, all I could picture was peaches n' cream." He looked over his shoulder with the most mischievous smile, which got him a firm shove in the back that pushed him through the kitchen door.

Lindsey was half way done with her bowl of ice cream by the time Gil filled his and sat down to join the ladies. Catherine toyed with hers until it resembled a soft serve consistency all the while waiting for Gil to talk. Catching her 'WELL!' look, he put his spoon down and started. He hoped having Linds in the same room would keep Cath from taking the news the wrong way, and see it as a positive step rather than a slap in the face.

Gil squirmed slightly in his chair before clapping his hands together to start the jubilant announcement. "I am extremely proud to inform you two that Mrs. Catherine Willows, who started out as an assistant lab tech, and through hard work and perseverance, has been promoted to co-supervisor. I am delighted to have this extraordinary woman as my partner in running the night shift."

Lindsey clapped her hands together following Gil's lead and shouted, "Yaaa mommy!"

Catherine politely smiled. Her disappointment went un-noticed by her daughter, but not by Gil. He reached over the table and took hold of her hand. Firmly squeezing he added. "There's a hefty raise to go with your new position."

She nodded.

"Cath, if Cavallo doesn't see any problems, then after a year the position is all yours."

She pulled her hand out of his, "I guess he hasn't forgotten about the lab accident."

Lindsey's jumped in. "Mommy, isn't this good news?"

Cath turned to her now concerned daughter, "Yes, honey. It's just….I'm just surprised that's all. This is a celebration, so let's finish our ice cream." Picking up her spoon, she stirred it around the melting desert, but did look merry.

Gil was glum that Catherine was not really pleased to know that Director Cavallo would only allow her to be co-supervisor. He truly wanted to make Cath happy, but he failed again. He finished his ice cream in silence regretting all his shortcomings with people. Reaching over, he stacked Lindsey's empty bowl on his before getting up to place it in the dishwasher. Having said goodnight to Lindsey, he discreetly walked to the front door, giving one last disheartened look at her over his shoulder.

In a hushed voice Lindsey asked. "Why are you mad at him?"

The worried tone in her young daughter's question snapped Catherine out of her self loathing for that critical error last year. "I'm not mad at Gil."

Lindsey was wise beyond her years as she tilted her head toward the doorway and raised her eyebrows as if to say 'go after him and apologize.'

Cath hurriedly pushed the chair back and jogged through the house. "Hey!" Cath leaped and pushed the front door closed with her outstretched hand, causing Gil to turn around.

"I'm sorry. It's not you." Her fist lightly tapped on his chest. "I'm just a little disappointed that Cavallo….is never going to forgive me."

Gil responded. "Don't let him get to you." Her enchanting topaz-colored eyes drew him in and he could feel his balance beginning to slip. "You deserve this promotion. Take it and don't let anyone say otherwise." His peripheral vision saw his right hand come up in slow motion and cup her cheek. He knew he should stop. What the hell was he thinking?

"I meant what I said. I'm proud of all you have accomplished and I admire you beyond words." That came out soft and so smoothly, without embarrassment or stutter. Gil still couldn't break away from her captivating eyes.

Catherine was overwhelmed at his words and affectionate gesture. Yet on the other hand, it was somehow now acceptable for them to express themselves and to physically touch. Could one night of literally sleeping together change the boundaries that always existed between them? She lowered her head into his hand and savored the heat of his smooth palm. She couldn't help but observe how his sapphire-color eyes sparkled in the dim light.

The two became frozen in that spot, in that stance, and in the growing silence. In a shaky whisper, Cath got out. "Thanks. And not for going up against Cavallo, but all those times you had my back. No one else has given me that steadfast support."

Cath's arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him down so she could place a lingering kiss on his cheek. His face turned with hers as she pulled back, bringing their mouths so very close. It would be so easy to pucker his lips and plant a kiss; instead he gulped and breathlessly whispered, "You're welcome."

She didn't move or say a word as she nervously waited to see if he would return her friendly kiss. She didn't want to rush him and not backing away invited a new level of closeness they could share. In a hushed tone that was to prompt him to move away from this captivating woman before he did something he'd regret. "I'll go now and get you an office."

In a low voice she asked. "We're not going to share?"

With eyes almost closed to allow his other senses to be heightened and experience this woman, this close, he whispered back. "I didn't think you would want to. You know, all my experiments and jars of ick as you call them."

A lone finger toyed with a lock of hair on the back of his head. Cath eased her head down on his shoulder, but making sure her lips were accessible if he chose to touch them. She breathed in a mixture of fear and excitement that was oozing out of his pores. He appeared composed on the outside, but his hammering heart betrayed his true emotions, and what effect she was having on him.

Nudging a little further, she seductively told him. "I wouldn't mind sharing with you."

Gil felt the room spinning. He wasn't sure if she was even talking about the office anymore as his balance teetered between real life and one of his fantasies. His hands had found her hips at some point so he was now holding her. Catherine's other arm slid down his back sending a wave of thrilling sensation all through his body. As she nuzzled to him more, the fragrance of strawberries infiltrated his nose, her warm breath caressed his neck, and the lone finger that fiddled with his hair was joined by two more. If this was a fantasy, he would be kissing those inviting lips by now, parting them with his stiff tongue, so he could slide in and out of her willing mouth. That was how his fantasies always started, with a kiss.

The land of fantasy encroached on real life as Gil shifted his weight to his other leg for a better angle. His lips began their descent with the final destination for once not being a simulation of kissing Catherine, but the real thing. Their noses touched when the abort signaled sounded. "Mom?"

Flying back up away from her ready lips, Gil's expression went from carnal desire to panic at the sound of that one single word. He pushed away from Catherine and fumbled with the doorknob. He kept his head turned away from her as he muttered an apology before dashing out the door. Once safely in his SUV and down the street, he slammed his fist onto the dashboard and cursed himself for his inappropriate response to her tempting proximity.

Catherine closed the door with mixed feelings. She was thrilled that they were so close to crossing the invisible sexual line. But she knew it would be much harder next time to lead Gil to that edge again. The way he left was typical Grissom and he would be shut down from any form of communication with her for quiet some time. She decided she could wait him out and that she would go to work later acting like nothing happened between them.

TBC


	5. Chapter Five

Notes: sorry this took longer than I had planned, but life does have of way of interrupting. Thanks to Gomey for proofing and all you wonderful readers who have sent reviews. If this is not your cup of tea; don't read or half read and then complain. There are a jillion other stories at this site that are up your ally.

In keeping with the change theme, this song is Boston's 'Something About You'

**Chapter Five**

'When I was younger I thought I could stand on my own.  
It wasn't easy, I stood like a man made of stone.

But there was something about you, I want you to know.  
It brought a change over me, it's startin' to show.  
I've got this feelin' inside, gotta have ya, have ya, ain't no good to hide.

It isn't easy, to show what I'm feeling inside, girl.  
It isn't easy, I know, when you believe in a man like me.' 

****

Gil drove to the crime lab from Catherine's house reigning in his wayward emotions and rearranging the arousal that resulted from their near kiss. He couldn't believe how out of control he had been and what Cath must think of him now – typical male pig!

At a stop light, he ran a hand around his face dreading the start of the evening shift. Deep in contemplation he conceded that she had every right to slap him in the face and file sexual harassment charges. No one messes around with Catherine Willows and gets away with it. A honk of a horn from the car behind got Gil to look up and see the green light.

Pulling away from the intersection it hit him! Wait a minute, maybe Cath wasn't appalled by his inappropriate advances. Maybe she welcomed them and wanted him to return the kiss. She didn't let go of him, but came closer. She ran after him and initiated the very close contact. _(Cath kissed me!)_ So be it on the cheek, but it wasn't what you call a peck on the cheek. No, it was a long drawn out, 'I really like you and please accept this invitation' sort of kiss.

Just as Gil felt better about the situation, another consideration heckled him. What if Cath was just playing with him for her own amusement? NO! She wouldn't do that. They have great respect for each other and why would that change? She's not the kind of person to tease 'him.' Nick and Greg, yes, but never him. So if she wasn't teasing, then what was that all about?

By the time Gil parked the SUV at the crime lab building he decided not to think negatively about 'it' and go on trying to lift Catherine's spirits. Seeing the memos announcing Cath's promotion were already typed and in the night shift's mail boxes, Gil went to find her an office. He looked over the few different research rooms and decided on turning the middle size one into her office. It was still smaller than his, but it was large enough to conduct meetings comfortably.

He hastily got the janitor to help move certain books and miscellaneous items out into the two remaining rooms. He printed out a temporary name plate, attached it to the door, and smiled contently. An index finger traced her name as Gil remembered her first night at the lab. Conrad Ecklie had hired her as an assistant lab tech to work days, but this one evening she was covering for a tech named Mike. It was in the wee hours of the morning when he returned to the lab from his case and dropped off his bag of evidence. Catherine was still engaging despite having been awake for almost twenty-four hours.

As he handed her the sealed bag, she noticed his name badge and made a comment about finally meeting the much talked about Dr. Grissom. Her beauty and charming remarks left him speechless as his clean shaven face warmed from a blush. For the next couple of years, they would meet on and off when he worked into the morning hours or she would cover for the night shift tech. Through the office grapevine, Gil had heard that Catherine was interested in becoming a CSI. He sought her out and informed her that if Ecklie wouldn't allow her to pursuer that career path, he would.

And so began their long and complex relationship. Gil found himself wanting to help her despite knowing she was married. He liked Cath's spunk and down to earth knowledge of people's motives and why they did the things they did. He was amused that despite her being younger and a novice, she was the one with the street smarts and interesting perspective on cases. Where he was older, more experienced, and loved the scientific aspects of cases. When they worked together, it was a complete team working the case from every angle.

As the years went by, he continued to help her until she reached CSI level three. Then it was time to let her go. He watched and took pride in each case she closed on her own. Warrick came to work and Gil had a new student to watch over. Looking at her name plate, they were now equals in every sense of the word.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
  
The hallways of the crime lab were abuzz with the news of Catherine's promotion. This evening it took her a little longer to make the walk from the front desk to the locker room, as people stopped to congratulate her. Finally depositing her purse in the locker, she walked down to Gil's office. He was standing up looking at the titles of book spines that were lined up behind his desk. She stood just outside the doorway and watched him for a few moments as he hunted for a certain book. It amazed her how sometimes he was the stern boss and unflappable scientist, while other times his adorable little boy qualities would surface.

Catherine rapped on the door with her knuckles, "Hey."

Gil tensed when he heard her voice. It sounded cheery and not at all annoyed like he had worried it might. He turned around to see her head slightly tilted, the way only she could. His eyes fixated on her hips and the fingers on his left hand rubbed together. It wasn't that long ago that he was actually holding those curvy hips and feeling her hands seize his body. He removed his glasses to focus on her face better and saw a questioning smile.

Forcing his throat to make some kind of noise in response. "Hey."

Catherine walked into his office figuring that was a Grissom invitation to enter. "I see you wasted no time getting the announcement out."

His hand holding his glasses waved through the air as he spoke. "No time like the present. Actually, Betty was the one to see that it was ready for shift." Walking out from behind his desk, "So far there's not much going on. Let's go tell the guys it's paperwork time." His eyes drifted down to the floor.

Catherine stuck her fingers into the pockets of her pants and gave an enthusiastic. "Sure."

The exuberant tone in her sweet voice made Gil look back up to see her with a closed lip smile. His little smile back was that sexy one she would notice every now and then. He gestured with his whole arm in a sweeping motion toward the doorway. "After you….partner."

Gil allowed Catherine to enter the break room first to receive the applause from the few people in the room. Warrick was the first one to take a couple of long strides before congratulating her. Gil watched as first Warrick, then Nick, followed by Jacqui, and lastly Greg hugged her. He proudly took in how the staff loved her and how truly happy they were for her achievement. When Cath hugged the guys, it was a motherly posture allowing his mind to note that 'their' hug was on a more intimate level.

Greg raised his arms over his head and spoke loudly, "We have to all go out for breakfast to celebrate!"

Warrick's low voice echoed that idea. "He's got that right. I'm in."

Nick looked over to Grissom. "I could call Sara and tell her where to meet us. You think?"

With Greg taking the lead as the event organizer and names of restaurants being tossed about, Gil sucked in his lips and lightly shook his head no to Nick's question. Making the connection between the flaming end of the key position and this out-of-the-blue promotion, Nick conceded with one head nod back, that it probably wasn't a good idea.

With the decision of which champagne brunch to attend, and volunteering Grissom to pay for it, the room quieted down enough for Gil to tell everyone to get to work. "Warrick and Nick, take this opportunity to get your paper work caught up. If something comes in, I'll let you know."

Both men nodded their acknowledgement as Greg interrupted. "Can I hang out with them?"

In a stern voice, "No you may not. Clean up any cases left over from dayshift, organize your lab, and only then may you go to learn how to fill out paperwork."

The last little bit of Grissom's speech was enough to excite Greg again. He took off shouting over his shoulder, "You got it boss!"

With the room clearing out, Catherine finally turned her attention to Gil. "And what are we going to do?"

"We got our own paperwork to take care of." Gil turned and started walking into the hallway.

A smile played on his lips feeling Cath on his heels. He led her around the crime lab acting as if there was stuff to pick up before heading back to his office. Catherine didn't say anything figuring he was already in work mode and concentrating on whatever. He abruptly stopped in front of a door and held his breath as he waited for her reaction.

It took a rather long time for Catherine to actually look at the door he had stopped in front of. As she read the name plate on the door, her eyes widened and lips parted. Gil pulled a key out of his pocket and opened the door for her to walk through. When she didn't move, he took her hand and gently pulled her into the new office. Cath slowly turned around to take in her new office as Gil wore a goofy grin as he watched her.

Turning back to Gil with a question in her throat. "So you don't want to share with me?"

His mind tried to decipher if there was a hidden meaning to her question. There was no hurt in her tone, hurt that would have been caused by running out and not returning her kiss. Instead, he heard a genuine question. Can you bring yourself to share something special with me?

His characteristic avoidance response filtered out. "You need a private space to talk to personnel." But he took a breath and bravely ventured into unfamiliar territory. "Other than that….yes, I would like to share with you."

Catherine pursed her lips before nodding, "Good, I'd like to share with you too."

Several long moments passed between them as they stood a few feet apart and gave the other a slight smile. Gil broke first, "You get settled in and I'll go get all the personnel files. We can start going over them tonight."

Cath nodded, "Sure, that's a good place to start."  
  
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Behind the closed door of Catherine's office, Gil sat in the visitor's chair across from his partner and they slowly went through all the night shift personnel files. Along the way Cath would make notes and slip them into the files. Gil informed her of his agreement with Greg.

"You may want to put yourself into the interview process to keep Greg from hiring a tech he could boss around or a woman for his personal eye candy."

"Like you never bossed him around?"

"That was different. The boy needed discipline and direction."

"I see. And what's this eye candy remark?"

"I'm just saying that if he wants to be in the field, then I don't what him hanging around the lab, bothering the new tech."

"Dooly noted." The last file to go over before stopping for dinner was Ms. Sidle. Catherine did not open it like the others before, but folded her hands together over the file. "And where should we begin with Sara?"

Gil, who had been rather forthcoming with the prior employees, could only shrug his shoulders and exhale deeply. The longer Cath held his gaze and waited, the worst the anxiety knotted in his gut. Catherine noted the twitch in his eye, and felt sympathy for him. _(God, it's worse than I thought!)_

She sat back in the chair and got comfortable, "I'll give you my observations first. After four years in this crime lab she has yet to learn how to control her emotions on certain cases. Rather than harnessing these emotions and using them to fuel her energy, she let's them control her which clouds her objectivity. Next, she is quick to judge people and she can't understand them or their situation. She is also quick to conjure up scenarios, and she then holds steadfast to her first theory and only concentrates on proving herself right, not accepting any other scenarios."

Cath stopped to take a drink of water and allow Gil the chance to respond. When all he did was just nod in agreement, she continued. "We both know she has a problem with authority and has no regard for voicing it in front of co-workers. She has demonstrated not being a team player on numerous occasions. Her strong point is her dedication to the job. As good as her science skills are, her interpersonal skills are rather coarse. I'm sure you have kindly pointed these concerns out to her at some time in the past, but I won't find anything in her file to state this…..will I?"

Gil averted his eyes away from her challenging blues before softly conceding. "Correct."

"And you didn't document beeecause?" She drew out the question. "She is your favorite and you didn't want to tarnish her record?"

This time his answer was more firm. "No."

Catherine moved forward in her chair, hands forcefully coming down on the edge of the desk. "Let's cut the crap Gil. If we're going to be partners, then we have to share, and that includes this. What's the story with you two?"

He was fooling himself if he thought Cath would let this topic drop. He had taken it into consideration before asking if she would take over the unit. Over the years, she had kept quiet and never asked him about where he knew Sara from and why he had brought her in. He now had an obligation to tell Cath, to share what caused the present situation, so she could be the best supervisor she could.

He nodded and Catherine allowed the time he needed to organize his thoughts. His eyes closed and his head tilted to the side. "Where do you want to start? From the beginning or more recently?"

Her calm voice offered assurance that this was only between them. "Where ever you're the most comfortable."

"Needless to say, I'm not comfortable with the whole topic. And no, it's not what you think." Gil tried to get comfortable in the chair, but nothing was ever comfortable when Ms. Sidle was the issue. "I met her when she was still a rookie CSI and she attended a weekend seminar of mine. She demonstrated a good work ethic and I figured it would look better for the department if an outsider ran the Gibbs investigation."

Cath jumped in. "There are more than a couple of years between her being a rookie and four years ago."

There was no getting something over on Catherine. She knew damn well there were several years in between these two events. And, how do you remember one person out of hundreds. Forced to explain, he started. "Like everyone else that day, I offered my assistance if they needed help or wanted to chat about a case. I gave them my e-mail address. Well…..Sara would e-mail me every month to say what cases she had worked on."

Cath took pity on him. Sometimes he was just too naive for his own good. "Gil, you must have known she had a crush on you. So why bring her to Vegas?"

His head dipped down just enough to convey his genius had some gaps in it. "I thought…..she had grown out of it."

She shook her head. "Obviously not!" She had noticed within the first few days of Sara arriving in Vegas that the girl was gaa gaa over Gil.

He snapped back. "Yes, I was reminded just the other day, thank you." Calming back down and looking for female advice, he leaned forward in the chair and with pleading eyes asked. "God Cath, what do you do when someone doesn't take no for an answer?"

Still not one hundred percent sure that Gil didn't reciprocate Sara's feelings at one time. "It depends on how you say it. Now let's take a typical Grissom no, it entails not answering the question at **all**."

Gil butted in. "That's **not** what I did. When she seductively asked me out, I gave her a definite **no**."

Leaning back in her chair, she defensively crossed her arms over her chest. "Ohh! This keeps getting better all the time."

Dismissively, his right hand waved in front of his chest. "Just wait, that was last year."

"And what happened this year? She gave you a hand job in your office?"

"Cath!" The tip of his ears tinged into a beet red color.

"Sorry Gil, but I just don't see her wrapping her lips around any man."

"Cath!" The scarlet in his ears had bled down to his face giving it a sunburned effect.

Eyebrows stretched past normal and eyes wide, his shocked expression tickled her funny bone. Catherine couldn't help but grin at his embarrassment. Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpsed at her impish smile and settled down allowing a smirk to tug at his own lips. Suppressing a chuckle, Gil noted lately when the topic of Sara came up; it led to teasing and giggling.

Clearing her throat. "I'm sorry, that was unprofessional of me. Please continue. What happened this year?"

"You won't find this in her file either. The other morning when you wanted to celebrate the Coombs case," Cath nodded. "I was late because I had to pick up Sara at the station."

With squinting eyes, "The train station, bus station?"

"The police station. Pulled over and almost got a DUI."

"You're kidding me?"

"I wish. Officer Barkley said she was lucky she wasn't caught on the strip. I doubt highway patrol would have granted her a courtesy get out of jail card. Since I'm her supervisor, I got the call to come in and drive her home."

"Hence, the sudden two week vacation."

Gil could only nod yes. "I tried to get her to take vacation sooner, but she's so damn headstrong. I have no idea how to handle her. If I ignore her advances, she gets irritable with everyone. If I try to be nice, she thinks I'm flirting. Jim gave me a heads up months ago, but I never saw signs of alcohol abuse while she was at work. God help me and Jim if I had mentioned it without proof positive."

"Yeah, don't you know it. So, you don't think she's sitting at home now drinking all day to pass the time? I mean, besides going out now and then with that EMT guy last year, I don't hear anything about her social life."

"Or any hobbies to distract her from the job. I have no clue what the hell she's doing at this point, and I don't care."

"Things got that rough on the ride home?"

"I'm sure it was the booze talking, but she also let some other things slip out that I'm not at all comfortable with. You might want to check with Dr. Kanter to see if she showed up for her appointment."

"You got the department shrink involved?" Gil gave a disheartening nod. "Thanks, for letting me know. Let me ask you this. Are things that bad between you two that you rather not work with her?"

"I have and still can, do the job at hand without personal hindrance as you pointed out before. I'm not sure Sara's in a place where she is able to separate what she feels and what just won't happen. If I had to guess, she's probably very angry with me at the moment. I feel no responsibility for her emotions. She assumed she knew me, and I'm sure it was a huge blow to find out she knows nothing about me."

"I'll see what I can do to help you out…..partner. Can we break for dinner now?"

"Absolutely." A slight smile lightened his facial expression considerably.

The liberation and contentment he felt for having been able to speak his mind and share with Catherine made him almost giddy. It seemed that the weight of 'the troubles with Sara' had slowly become heavier as the months and years past. It was so gradual, that he didn't notice it and became accustom to the burden. The advantage of having a confidant at work was already was paying off. He knew Cath would always be in his corner, just like he was her biggest supporter. Once again, he now looked forward to coming to work each evening and having a friend in Catherine.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Two weeks later, in all the messages Gil picked up at the receptionist's desk upon arriving for work, one stood out. 'My vacation is almost up and I would like to know what nights I'm working. CSI Sidle.' Sitting down at his desk, he ran through his Roladex for Sara's home number. Acting like a normal everyday duty, he dialed the number and listened as the answering machine picked up.

The mechanical voice said. "Please leave your message at the end of the beep." Beeeeeeeep.

"Sara, you need to call Catherine at extension 583 to discuss being put back on the schedule. She is the supervisor in charge of all night shifts personnel." Gil hung up and with that taken care of, looked over the cases for the evening.

Sitting crunched in the corner of her sofa, Sara heard the detached tone in Grissom's voice. A lump formed in her throat and a cramp twisted her intestines. Her ego asked. Why do I have to call that tramp Catherine? What did Grissom mean she's the supervisor? There is no way I'm bowing down to her! An ex-stripper of all things! Huhh!

The building frustration and anger swept through her body. Her arm violently knocked the answering machine off the side table sending it crashing to the floor. "Bastard! Fuck you!! And that bitch!!!" Sara guzzled down the remaining glass of rum that she had been cradling to her chest.

TBC


	6. Chapter Six

Notes: Thanks as always to Gomey for proofing and all you wonderful readers who have sent reviews, there are appreciated soooo very much.

This is a short chapter only because I want to lay the ground work for the fun chapter coming up.

The song is Boston's 'Something About You'

**Chapter Six**

'When I get angry I say things I don't wanna say.  
I really mean it, I don't want to leave you this way.  
  
I couldn't help my reaction, I want you to know.  
I lose control over you, I just wantcha to know.  
Got this feeling inside….  
Gotta have ya, have ya, ain't no good to hide.  
  
It isn't easy, to show what I'm feeling inside, girl.  
It isn't easy, I know, when you believe in a man like me.'

The halls of the crime lab were just starting to buzz with the night shift personnel as Gil walked down to Catherine's office. The door was open so he knew she was in the building somewhere. Placing a hand on the doorframe, he peeked in and silently watched her write on a paper. Her head was down and tilted ever so slightly to one side, keeping her long golden locks from covering her face. He loved to observe how all of her concentration was aimed at what was right in front of her. In rare moments, this trait would infiltrate his fantasies and tease him of what she would be like as a lover.

"Do you need something Gil?"

He was always amused at how she could tell he was hovering without having to look up. Walking into her office. "I was just admiring how good you look behind the desk."

"Is this the only time I look good?" She finished writing with a sharp hit of the pen to paper and looked up. A coy smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Gil sat down in the chair opposite of her. "No, and I'm sure Greg tells you that every night." His hands clasped together in his lap.

Leaning back to rock in her chair, Catherine plainly stated, "He may tell me that, but for me, it means a lot more coming from you. So thank you."

Gil nodded, "You're welcome." Keeping eye contact with the captivating lady across from him. "I wanted to give you a heads up before handing out assignments."

"Anything for me?" She asked while lightly rocking in the chair.

"No, not yet. I'm sending the guys out first."

Sitting up, Cath leaned her elbows on the desk to close the distance between them. "All right, what's up then?"

Gil's tone and expression turned ominous. "There was a message waiting for me, Sara wants to get back on the schedule. I left a message on her machine telling her she needs to contact you for that."

"Hmm, it has been so nice here lately, I guess it was bound to end."

No more needed to be said between the two senior CSI's. Both had felt the comfortable mood the crime lab had for the past couple of weeks. Reminiscent of how it was before they lost one of their own some years back, the rookie Holly Gribbs.

Not wanting the subject of Sara to ruin their exclusive time, Catherine jubilantly blurted out. "Guess what I did?"

Understanding what she was doing and grateful for it. "That could entail a myriad of possibilities that could take all night." His hand wave helped exaggerate the response.

"Fine, spoil my fun. Nancy took me shopping at Costco and they had this decent size swimming pool. Sooo, I bought one." Cath actually looked proud from her declaration.

Gil gave her the look which meant he knew there was more to this story. Plus he wanted to see how she would fess up.

"All right, Linds pleaded some in the store. It was only a couple of hundred…….and I ran out of excuses to tell her no when these two young men that worked there, volunteered to deliver and set it up for me."

Gil chuckled, "Sill using your charm and beauty on young men, how feminist."

"Hey, they volunteered out of the blue, and I see no reason not to support hard working college students." Having said that, Cath's face lit up and clasped her hands together. "So you want to come over Sunday for a bar-b-q and dip in the pool?"

Wanting to play hard to get, Gil nonchalantly inquired. "What's on the menu?"

"Nothing fancy. Hamburgers, corn on the cob, potato salad, and…..anything else you might want."

"That's sounds like the All-American backyard cookout. What time should I show up?"

"How about four in the afternoon? And bring your swim trunks." A lone finger pointed in his direction.

Quickly his hands came up in front of him as a defense. "No, no. Eating is just fine with me. Anyway, I don't own trunks."

"Gil, you grew up next to the ocean, you have to have at least one pair. Besides, Linds and I challenge you to a game of water polo."

"First off, I wasn't the surfer type, so no, I don't have any. And second, just how big is this pool?"

"You can't do laps, but it's big enough for some water games." She gave him a sly smile.

Gil shook his head in fascination. He could never deny her anything she asked of him, even if it was out of his comfort zone. "I'll put a note on my refrigerator as a reminder."

He left her office without another word, forcing her to wait and see if he would show up with swimming gear. There was no question that he would go to the store Saturday and purchase one, well two actually. One in whatever the fashion was and another, a tighter fitting one to wear under the other. This doubling up should hide from plain view any arousal that might spring up from seeing Cath in a wet bikini.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Much later that evening, Sara got the nerve up to call Catherine after downing more rum'n cokes. She had thought at this time in the night everyone would be out of the lab and she could just leave a message, but she was wrong. In only two rings, her world would change forever.

"Willows."

The dead silence was just a bit too long and immediately Catherine panicked. "Lindsey! Is that you, are you all right?"

The shrill of Catherine's voice jolted Sara to utter something from her fuzz-covered tongue. "Ahhhh, no it's me, Sara. I was told to call you about scheduling."

Cath let out the breath she was holding. "Oh Sara, you scared me when you didn't answer. Hold on a sec." She pulled the day planner out from under some papers and looked at it. "Okay, here it is. Come in tomorrow an hour before shift starts and we'll talk about getting you back on."

"I….I don't understand what….what's to talk about."

"From what I know, there is quite a bit."

"Fffffine. I'll be there, bye."

The click in Catherine's ear was enough to tell her how their meeting was going to go. She put aside what she had been working on and made a list of questions for the following evening.

TBC


	7. Chapter Seven

Notes: Okay, this chapter was getting way too long and I decided to cut it in half. Also, this is how personnel problems should have been dealt with on the real show, but you know those writers so this is my response. Please enjoy and rest assured the good stuff is half way there.

Once again, Many thanks to Gomey for her inspiration and cheerleading and all you wonderful Cath/Gil fans for your kind words.

**Chapter Seven**

The next evening, Catherine rushed Lindsey through her homework, dinner and dropped her off at her sister Nancy's house. Doing a quick walk across the crime lab parking lot and into the building, she didn't even pause once to give a friendly greeting to those she passed. The last thing she needed to start this evening was to have Miss. Sidle glaring at her tardiness for their meeting.

She unlocked her office door, pushed it open and let out a breath of accomplishment. She tossed her still stiff and new leather briefcase on her desk, along with her purse. Slipping her sleek leather coat off, she inserted a hanger in it and hung it from a cabinet knob. There was just one more thing to do before settling into her chair and that was getting a bottle of water from the small refrigerator in the corner of her office.

Swallowing down the cool, refreshing liquid gave her parched throat just what it craved. Pulling the chair out from the desk, she gracefully lowered her aging body into it. Placing her purse into the bottom drawer, Cath turned her attention to the contents that she pulled out of the briefcase. Time ticked by, but she swore the hands on the desk clock were not moving. Gil had given her the elegant clock as a present for her promotion. The gold clock only stood five inches tall, yet the hand-painted iridescent hummingbird that hovered near a red tubular flower gave incredible life to the piece. The sweetest tone would chime at the top of each hour.

In the short time that little clock had graced her desk; it possessed such a comforting presence. It did not matter how crazy a shift was going, just one glance at it, and Catherine would instantly calm down. She wasn't sure if it was the clock or the memory of how Gil looked when he gave it to her. His eyes sparkled with delight, and his face glowed, as she unwrapped the box. His jubilation in her accomplishment vibrated from his soul along with her's.

Tonight would be Catherine's first real test as a supervisor handling staff problems. So far the night shift personnel she had met with had been very supportive and accepting of her new position. In turn, she was grateful for their honesty on how to improve the smoothness of the work flow. Also, a pattern was forming and it was a major concern to all the lab techs. Who should determine what cases are actually 'top priority', so the techs don't get stuck in the middle of a CSI power struggle.

Sara Sidle stopped in front of Catherine's office ten minutes late, dressed in all black. The fluorescent lights humming down from the ceiling did nothing but intensify the pale tint of her face. Cath had the feeling of being watched and removed her attention from the paperwork to the doorway. Deliberately setting her pen down, Catherine addressed the younger CSI. "Sara, come in and please close the door."

With a set jaw and a grimace, Sara did as asked before sitting down. Her posture of crossed legs, back straight, and hands tightly laced together on her lap did not give off an air of being relaxed, but rather on edge and defensive. Briefly looking around she commented, "Hmm, one of the old research rooms."

Catherine had expected this meeting to be confrontational and wasn't disappointed by the trivializing tone in Sara's voice. Giving her ample room to smolder, Cath politely asked. "Would you like something to drink? I have water, Sprite, even bottles of Starbucks mocha frappuccino."

Sara's apathetic tone continued, "No thanks." She would rather have her fingernails pulled out, slowly, than accept anything from the older woman.

"If you change you're mind, let me know. So, did you do anything pleasurable on your vacation?"

"You can put aside the pleasantries, and you don't have to pretend. Your sudden position is a surprise, but I'm sure Grissom informed you why I was off of work."

"Gil is not a man that does anything impulsively. I'll ask again, did you do something for yourself while off from work. Like visit your parents, go to a spa, take in a show."

"No. I went to my assigned therapist and I would like to get back to work now."

"I'm sure you would and that is why we are here. It's my responsibility to assess that you are ready to return. Sara, there is more at stake here than you. Evidence that is collected or handled while under the influence…."

Sara sharply pointed a finger and barked out. "Don't you dare. You will not sit there and preach to me about compromising evidence after what you have done! How many cases were thrown out after you blew up the lab? And what about the Braun case! You should have been fired for that fuck up. I wouldn't be surprised to learn you gave Grissom a private lap dance to get this job, because there is no other way you deserve it."

Catherine was taken aback that the explosion occured so quickly, but she held back and allowed Sara to vent. She watched how Sara's face flushed while releasing her pent up anger. When Sara slumped back against the chair back, Cath pushed aside her anger and addressed the younger woman. "Yes, I have made mistakes and I would hope that they don't need to be repeated by everyone else in the lab. You might not want to believe it, but I'm only trying to help you."

Sara looked away towards the floor. She was still in denial that she needed anyone's help.

Leaning forward to rest her elbows on the desk, Catherine went on. "Sara you are good at what you do, but you have a lot of hostility that is not contusive to this job. You also have this constant need to be in competition with everyone around you. You are on the fast tract to burnout and it would be an utter shame if I sat back and allowed that happen."

The scowl on Sara's face only intensified the more Catherine talked. "I don't need or want your help."

"Well that's too bad, because you're going to get it….period."

"I'm not going to sit here and listen to this." Sara moved to get up.

In a stern yet even voice, Catherine threw down the gauntlet. "Sara if you leave this office now, you will never work as a CSI again, anywhere. Now sit down and listen up."

Sara froze on the end of the chair and stared into Catherine eyes. Grissom had never stood up to her in that way and she wasn't sure how to handle this unfamiliar situation. Her face hardened as she slid back into the chair.

Catherine took a steadying breath, this was her one chance to get through to the stubborn girl. "Do you know what attributes makes the best CSI? A person who is not afraid to admit they don't know all the answers. A person who is open to learn something new each day. A person who doesn't put themselves in front of the victim or the case. A person who doesn't look down their nose at other people."

"Not everyone took the same path you took to get here, but that doesn't mean they're not as good at their job as you. Not everyone had the same opportunities you had growing up that allowed them to go to Harvard, but that doesn't mean they are less gifted than you. We don't do this job to boost our own ego. We do this job for the victim and their family's….period. We can never lose site of this and we all must be team players to accomplish this goal."

"I don't know what you and your therapist have talked about, but I would like you to spend time discussing these points. Your attitude today clearly shows you have a lot more to come to terms with in your life. I would like for you to take another four weeks of your vacation time and increase your therapy to intensively get to the bottom of this."

Sara's palms hit the side arms of her chair. "You can't do this. I'm going straight to the director."

"Good, go ahead. And when he asks me about it, I'll tell him, I'm protecting the department since you were a frog's hair way from getting a DUI. If you don't voluntarily take more of your vacation, I will gladly write you up for a medical leave. One way or the other, you will deal with your problems."

Sara glared a death wish at the senior CSI. "Grissom would never do this to me. He wanted me here and you have always been jealous of that fact!"

"Since you brought it up, let me tell you something about the enigmatic Grissom. I have never known him to be afraid to ask a woman out. It's just not high on his priority list. Gil is like…..like a wild mustang. He likes and needs his freedom, and no matter how much you want to, you will never tame him. He is fine as a friend, but he doesn't make for boyfriend or husband material."

Sara hissed back, "I don't want Grissom."

"Sara, everyone knows about your crush on him, it's not a secret and I'm not blind. Look, if your mother never told you this, I will. There are a lot of fish in the sea, and many would die for the chance to go out with you. Forget about Gil, and forget about what happened with Hank. It's all part of growing up and learning what you want for yourself. But you first have to believe you deserve better and not settle for any guy treating you poorly."

There was no indication that anything Catherine just said even made the slightest bit of penetration into the stubborn girl's head. She watched Sara get up and leave her office without much of a response. Taking a sip of water she could only hope it wouldn't be too late for Sara to see the light.

TBC


	8. Chapter Eight

Many thanks to Gomey again and always for her inspiration and cheerleading. To **ALL** you wonderful Cath/Gil fans, thank you for your kind words and support.

The lyrics are from Boston's Something About You.'

**Chapter Eight****   
**   
But there was something about you, I want you to know.   
It brought a change over me, It's startin' to show.   
I got this feelin' inside, gotta have you, have you   
Ain't no good to hide.'

The end to the first week in June saw the heat of Summer settling in on the oasis outpost of Las Vegas. School was out, the tourists were in, and Gil left the crime lab late Saturday morning with more than the normal unsolved case folders sitting on his desk. One thing he had learned doing this job was there would always be new cases and sometimes against his liking, some would never be solved. He went straight home as he wanted to catch up on sleep before tackling the venture of swimwear shopping.

------------------------------

It was almost ten o'clock at night by the time Gil arrived at a store specializing in swim and beach attire. In most cities it would be rather remarkable for people to be shopping at this type of store, at this time of evening, but Gil had learned long ago that unconventional was the norm in Vegas. He had been glancing around for several minutes before a young man passed by and smiled at him.

Relieving his hands of hangers of clothes, the boy offered a greeting. "Hi, how are you tonight?"

Gil nodded back, "Fine, thank you."

"Can I help you find something?"

Gil thought before answering. He could be here all night trying to figure out what to get or just have this sales clerk, who definitely knew how to dress for style and comfort assist him. The lad wore a lavender and yellow Hawaiian shirt that was unbuttoned to show off his chiseled chest and abdomen. His skin was tanned to a bronze color and his hair was a bright blonde that was cut short and spiked. He reminded Gil of Greg, cheerful and carefree, but noticeably homosexual.

"Yes, I need to get something to wear for a pool party tomorrow."

"I'm Derek and you came to the right place." He held his hand out to Gil.

Shaking his hand and offering a pleasant smile, "Nice to meet you Derek, I'm Gil."

Derek beamed a genuine smile as not many heterosexual men were this pleasant to him. For Gil, being in close proximity to a gay man was nothing to become alarmed about. While growing up, he was exposed to many of his mother's gay and lesbian friends. Besides learning to appreciate all types of artwork, and artistic expressions, his deaf mother taught him acceptance and tolerance of all people. Even for the 60's, Gil's mother was ahead of her times.

"So tell me more about this pool party and don't leave out any details." Derek's light brown eyes locked on Gil's as all of his attention shifted as if to listen to some juicy gossip.

Gil's bashfulness of the situation was only detectable by the quick lowering of his eyelids. "Well, it's really just my friend and her daughter."

Derek was intrigued by what the handsome stranger did not say which told the genuine story. Like a fortune teller reading Tarot cards, the fashion savant read Gil, and slowly nodded his head as the situation became clear. Derek assessed this unassuming man would not be out shopping at this hour for anything special to wear if it was just an old friend.' Derek mused if this gentle soul's woman friend   
couldn't appreciate the deep feelings he had for her, than that was her lose. Although Derek preferred his men muscular, there was something awfully enticing about the mature chap with expressive blue eyes.

With a bright smile and lustful look in his eyes, Derek said. "Gil, I know just what you need."

Narrowing the selections down to exact style and now trying on trunks for fit, Derek was going to suggest an accessory that would be sure to impress Gil's lady friend. It is made by Kolaswim called 'Mouthwatering' and is used to enhance the natural form of the male's equipment. A Lycra strap fits around the man's waist as a delicate spider web of strapping encircles each testicle for better exposure while holding them in perfect position. Next, the shaft of the penis is held directly out front and center with help from a brass ring at the base.

As Derek handed Gil a new pair of trunks to try on, he got a glimpse of his equipment and decided he need not bother with a suggestion. Derek's loins twitched at the sight as a fleeting fantasy of being the one to teach this striking man the finer points of switch hitting.

------------------------------

Sunday afternoon found Catherine outside reading the newspaper and supervising Lindsey while she played in her new pool. The two young men she had hired to set up the pool were kind enough to come late in the day on Saturday, allowing Cath to get some sleep before having to watch her daughter. Nancy showed up with her son, Jeremy while the guys were still setting up the pool. Cath ordered a couple of pizzas and fed the small crowd that hung around the perimeter of the pool and eagerly watched as it came to life.

It was a few minutes after four o'clock when Catherine heard the ringing of her door bell announcing Gil had arrived. Shouting over to Linds to be careful for a few minutes, Cath set aside the newspaper and went to open the door. Taking a peek through the peep- hole, Cath lingered to observe Gil in his natural relaxed state. Pressing her body against the door brought her closer in proximity to the magnetism of her partner. She secretly hoped that he came dressed for the occasion and that a lack of a sun tan didn't leave   
her skin looking like a cold corpse.

Gil patiently waited after pushing the doorbell. Thanks to Derek, he felt confident and smart in his new attire, and secretly hoped that Catherine would take notice. Not that he ever dressed liked a slob, but with expert advice from Derek on how to enhance his best features, he was eager for results from this particular experiment. Looking down at his toes that were visible in the cozy black leather sandals he bought, along with the light blue shirt that accompanied his swimming trunks - times two. The outside trunks were the board- short style that laced up the front. They were dark grey color with a curved yellow stripe on the sides. The material was the new microfiber that was soft to the touch and moved with ease. The insurance' inside pair was made mostly out of spandex to hold things' tightly to the body and they were a half of the size of the other pair.

Catherine opened the door and greeted him in a man's shirt, but under it was a one-piece turquoise swimsuit that accented her flowing strawberry-blonde locks. She started her inspection at his sunglasses and slowly moved her eyes down to take in this uncharacteristic sight. Taking special notice of his naked toes that wiggled in her direction won him a favorable sly smile and a comment of nice duds. Walking to the back of the house, Gil was able to swallow down the lump in his throat to toss out a thank you.

The new pool shrunk the size of the backyard, but it did not loom over the dimensions, it was just right as Goldie Locks would say. Gil walked over to say hello to Lindsey, while Catherine went back to her lounge chair in the shade. After allowing ample time to let Linds talk his ear off, Cath yoo-hooed' for the cabana boy to apply sunscreen to her back. Excusing himself from the little girl's verbal clutch, Gil in an exaggerated swagger, made his way over to the tempting lady and positioned himself behind her.

She handed him the bottle over her shoulder and then lowered the two straps. With her hair now up in a ponytail, there was nothing in the way as his lotion covered hands lightly pressed onto her skin. The sudden chill of the lotion made her flinch, but just as quickly, the heat off his palms overtook the coolness. His original point of contact was at the base of her neck, from there his palms separated   
and glided outward over her shoulders. Cath pushed into his gentle touch as if silently asking for a massage also. Moving downward on her back, he allowed her to determine how much pressure she would like.

His eyes begged for an un-obscured inspection of super mom. He really wanted to reach up and yank the sunglasses off, but that would be too conspicuous. He relinquished to his hands that touching wasbetter than seeing this time. Sliding back up to her shoulders, the tips of his fingers curved over and squeezed into her slender frame. Her drawn out sigh acknowledged the slight modification in his requested deed. The longer he kneaded her upper shoulders and arms, the more her sighs became accompanied by moans.

The low rumbles Cath was emitting could possibly be an indication of the auricle treat her lovers would experience. Gil's eyes slipped closed, while the tip of his tongue poked out between his lips, as her vocalizations began to turn him on. He hadn't been there more than ten minutes and already the familiar sensation of blood rushing to a certain muscle was taking place. At the initial twinge of expansion, his hands let go of her silky skin to stop the further development of an arousal.

Praying his voice didn't carry a quiver. "All done."

"Thanks." Cath looked over her shoulder, "Would you like me to do you?" A raised eyebrow punctuated the question.

"Sure, let me get my bag."

While Gil fetched his beach bag that he left on the patio table that contained a huge towel, lip balm and sun tanning lotion, Cath scooted back on the lounge chair. Derek had told him that bringing his own towel would be a nice gesture of consideration to his hostess. Pulling out the bottle and handing it to Cath, Gil sat at the edge of the lounge chair, and started to unbutton his shirt.

Popping the top off, Cath smelled the lotions coconut fragrance and raised an eyebrow at the thought of coconut cream Gil. Noticing it was not sun-block like hers, but rather tanning lotion, she had to comment. "I wouldn't think you were the tanning type."

Watching Lindsey play in the water, he offered only a shrug. Cath turned the bottle upside down and began to squeeze out the creamy contents along his back. Setting it down, she then painstakingly smoothed it over every area of exposed skin. He quietly smirked at the attention he was receiving from the beautiful Ms. Willows. After a few minutes, Gil's indulgence of her dainty hands running all over   
his back came to a halt.

A husky voice brushed his one ear. "Would you like me to do your chest too?"

Her warm breath and extreme close proximity caused the hairs on his forearms to stand upright. Feeling her hands snaking around his waist, he tried to say no, but it was too late. Her fingers pressed relentlessly on a ticklish spot, he abruptly twisted his torso to free himself, and dislodge her hands.

Her mischievous mind quickly deduced the situation and playfully asked. "Ticklish?"

Gil sharply turned his head with fear in his eyes. His only chance of getting out alive would be the protection his dark sunglass lens offered. No luck. His peripheral vision noticed her hands reaching out to him to find that one spot again. "Nooooo."

Catherine lunged the rest of the way, only to fall flat on the lounge chair, as Gil rolled onto the ground to escape. Pulling his shirt up to cover his bare chest, they froze where they landed to decipher who, if either, had the next move. A devilish grin could not be stopped as his view allowed him to look down her chest to see how gravity affected her bosoms. Of course seeing Cath sprawled out in an undignified pose was just icing on the cake.

Realizing she lost that round, Cath up righted herself without a word, but ducked away this most devious information for later use. With Cath a safe distance away, Gil picked himself up and smugly reached for the fallen bottle of lotion. Draping his shirt on the back of a lawn chair, he applied the lotion to his chest and went to join the ladies in the pool.

The first game of water polo had mom and daughter against Gil. He kept the game close until halfway through, and then allowed Linds to get past him just barely to score and eventually win the game. Feigning old age as the reason why he ran out of steam and lost, persuade Lindsey to switch partners for the next game. With renewed vigor, Gil was more aggressive and this sped the second game along. Allowing Lindsey to have the game winning goal, and thus trouncing her mother twenty-one to four, the trio was famished.

The ladies went into the house to retrieve a plate of made up hamburgers and some chips n salsa to munch on. Coming back outside, Catherine tossed an apron on Gil as he relaxed in a lounge chair. "The grill is usually the man's forte. Are you up to the task?"

He picked up the black apron and turned it so he could see what the front had written on it. The yellow letters spelled out Grill Master' and there were red flames at the hem. Her voice carried the heavier part of the question.

In the past few weeks, his solitary existence was gradually altered by these ladies. In the deepest crevices of his mind, a thought would pass and leave a physical feeling behind. Was he becoming selfish in assuming the husband/father role when they were all together? Was he twisting the scope of their friendship to fill a void he had willfully created in his life? Lately, within minutes of leaving their company, he would begin to tussle with the notion of wanting to be the leading man in their life. Yet it was his fantasy. Or was it?

"You realize it's been probably a few decades since I last used a bar- b-q grill. If you trust me not to burn them, then I'm up to the task." Gil then stood up, donned the apron, and headed for the grill.

Catherine showed him how to get the propane going and where to light it. As she handed him the brass bristle brush to clean the rack, she added. "You're the only one I trust with my life. Linds likes cheddar cheese on her burger. I want the pepper jack and make them at least medium-well. We'll get the rest of the dinner on the table."

Gil went to work cleaning the grill and then triumphantly placed the burgers on to cook. Setting the spatula down, he checked his watch and set the timer for five minutes. With things under control, he walked over to the patio table to sneak a quick tortilla chip or two. Scooping up some salsa, he popped the chip into his mouth. It only took five seconds for the fiery heat of the jalapenos to infiltrate his taste buds. The half chewed chip clung to his tongue allowing the searing salsa to hide beneath and continue its branding. Gil jumped around as if running across hot coals, looking for a place to spit and his hand desperately waved warm Nevada air into his mouth. Settling for the garden hose, he turned the spigot on and flooded his mouth with water. Bits of tortilla, tomatoes and jalapenos were carried out onto the gravel below.

The lingering heat was tolerable, so Gil turned the water off and straightened up. Catching his breath and wiping water off his whiskers, he noticed how watery his eyes now were. Removing his sunglasses to wipe the tears from his eyes, he had to admit, that was some rush. The timer on his watch went off and he walked back to turn the burgers acting like nothing happened.

Cath and Lindsey came out with the rest of the meal and set the table. Master Chef Gil toasted the buns and melted the cheese before presenting the ladies with their burgers. The arid air of the desert made quick work of drying out swimwear and soaked hair while they ate. It was relatively quiet meal, except for the occasional request to pass another helping, and descriptions of how delicious everything was. Each reflected in their own way how noticeably they were beginning to look and act like a family.

------------------------------

In a blink of an eye, day turned into evening and the stars were just beginning to become visible. Lindsey had retired to her room to read the latest Harry Potter' novel, allowing Catherine to breakout the special margaritas she had prepared. The quaint patio was encircled with a few lit tiki torches as the warm desert breeze licked the tips of the palm fronds. The glitz of downtown Vegas seemed like an ocean width away within this small romantic oasis.

Catherine handed Gil the beautiful magenta colored drink complete with salt on the rim and a wedge of lime. He graciously accepted the glass all the while observing how the yellow-orange flames made her hair dance a tempting tango. The first sip was smooth as silk with just a hint of the prickly pear nectar that colored the liquid within. The superb tequila had no bite, but creeping down the palette, its stealth presence spread out like ripples in a pool. If she was trying to weaken his defenses by filling him with booze, she had chosen the optimum drink. The Mexican fire water packed a punch greater than its fighting weight.

They sat across from each other at the patio table enjoying the attachment that had been building all day. Gil in typical character spoke about how studies have shown that the pectin of the prickly pear pads and tunas, have been shown to lower the levels of bad cholesterol. In addition, it also lowers the need for insulin in diabetics and reduces the severity of hangovers. Cath listened with great interest oblivious to how her full lips' parting to allow the brilliant colored margarita in was affecting Gil. He turned away and   
searched for the first star of the night. He had hoped to spot the North Star and regain his bearings around this most enticing woman.

Draining her glass, Catherine stood up and declared she felt like floating. She tossed the Spring Floater into the pool and then climbed in. Stretching out, she gazed into the heavens and breathed in the fresh air of contentment. In this rare moment, she felt like a typical suburban mother now that Lindsey was back on tract and not rebelling. Suspended above the water, she wistfully wished she kept a diary, so she could go back and see if her hunch was right. On the other hand, did it really matter when the turning point was to their friendship? All that mattered now was enjoying this new phase.

Gil finished his drink and walked over to the pool to admire Cath floating in the water. Her fingers dipped into the warm wet water trying to act like fins to rotate her in circles. Alas, they were too short to do the job effectively, so she begged Gil to come in and spin her around. The soft quality of her voice moved him to comply, after all these years, she still had a mystical hold on part of his heart. He slid into the pool and ever so gently gave the floater a nudge.

"Thanks."

After about ten minutes of watching and keeping her drifting in lazy circles, he moved to the foot of the floater. His hands coddled one of her dainty feet and brought her spinning to and end. She raised her head just enough to question his action which was answered when his thumbs pressed into her foot. His large hands dwarfed her foot, allowing for a double soothing sensation all at once. Resting her head back down, she gave into the intense relaxing feeling. In between long strokes, Gil would hold a thumb in one area and press   
down.

"You know reflexology?"

"I read a book on it once to try and help my migraines."

When he finished with her right foot, he switched to her left and repeated the whole process. By the time he was completely done, Catherine hung on the very edge of sleep. His smug smile went un- noticed and so did its transformation into a mischievous look. Gil positioned his index finger at her heel and then lightly and slowly, scrapped his nail up her foot. Cath jerked her leg up and opened her eyes to glare at him for ruining her placated state.

Cocking his head to the side, "Ticklish?"

She growled at him. "You're an ass."

Gil chuckled to her round-about answer while grabbing her other foot and positioned his finger for another tickle. Hissing this time, "Don't you dare Mister." She then tried to jerk her captured foot away from him.

"Hmm, where else will I find you ticklish I wonder?" Scrapping his nail on her foot made her jerk it up, but this time he was ready, and squelched her attempt to escape.

Catherine let out a yip, rocking her body to free her foot from his torture caused the floater to capsize. Falling into the water, she broke his hold and swam to the ladder. Enjoying this game too much to allow it to end, he pushed the floater out of the way and quickly swam to the ladder. Cath was half way up it when two hands clamped down on her hips bones and pulled her backwards. She screamed all the way down. They hit the water with so much force that they sank to the bottom, as a ring of water splashed over the sides of the pool.

Gil's feet touched the bottom of the pool first allowing him to push off and bring them both to the surface. Breaking the surface, Cath gasped for air through her open mouth. The buoyancy of the water allowed Gil to easily to spin her around to face him. In a few fleeting seconds, she opened her eyes and blinked through the sheets of water that ran down her face. Her exhilaration from the past minute of folly was soon eclipsed by a new euphoria as Gil, without hesitation bent down and kissed her.

Cath's heart was beating quicker than a rabbit and her mind feverishly tried to put all the pieces together. Instinct won control of her motor skills and moved her arms up to wrap around his neck and pulled Gil tighter to her. Sensing her acceptance, he released her upper lip and plunged into her open mouth. Tips of   
tongues met in the middle, then they snaked slowly around each other, feeling and testing.

Rational behavior be damned! If this was the only kiss they would ever share, Gil was determined to make the most of it. He attacked her whole mouth with an intensity he had never acted on before. His assault was unyielding causing Cath to moan a mixture of pleasure and pain. She held his pace, but only for a brief time before submitting to him. It seems there is just no matching a thirsty man's craving when he has been walking through a dry desert for so long.

The sliding door opened and Lindsey's frightened voice yelled. "Mom! Are you alright?"

TBC


	9. Chapter Nine

I do wish everyone here a very Happy 2005 !

Okay, my New Year's resolution to you guys/gals is NOT to start posting a story that is not complete. I too do not like the month in between my posting. After this story is done, I will never do it again.

My heartfelt thanks to little sister, Gomey for squeezing me into her very busy schedule and doing a fantastic job as always proofing for me.

The lyrics are still from Boston's Something About You.'

**Chapter Nine**

'It isn't easy, to show what I'm feeling inside, girl  
It isn't easy, I know, to believe in a man like me  
Like me, can'tch see, I gotta gotta have you  
But there was something about,  
Yeah there was something about you.'

Inside the kitchen, Lindsey bit the bottom of her lip in a pout and nervously scratched a fingernail on the glass door. Shielding her small child body with the edge of the sliding door, she had a hard time adjusting her eyes to the darkness of the backyard. Not being able to see where her mother was, if she was there at all, she called out again into the blackness. "Mom!"

Catherine's maternal ears heard the rising panic in her offspring's voice. She automatically ended the kiss by pulling her head away from Gil. "Yes sweetie!" Without looking back, she glided over to the side of the pool so she could hang over and allow her daughter to see and be reassured that everything was fine.

Lindsey heard the splashing of water and could barely make out the outline of a shadow in the pool. "I heard a scream."

"I'm sorry baby, we were just acting silly. I'm fine. Are you done reading?"

"Not yet. I want to finish this chapter."

"All right, I'll be in, in just a bit." Catherine bobbed weightless in the water.

"Can we play Uno?"

"Sure honey, let me change clothes so I don't catch a chill."

"Mr. Gil too?"

Brought into the family conversation, he answered from the middle of the pool. "Only if you promise to go easy on me."

Lindsey giggled and slid the door shut. She ran back into the living room to hurry up and finish reading the chapter she had started.

Gil slid up behind Cath and whispered into her ear. "Your daughter has impeccable timing."

Her eyes drooped shut at the teasing touch of his breath. "You have no idea."

He lightly kissed her earlobe then skimmed his jaw across her shoulder. His short whiskers pricked her skin giving a spine tingling sensation run up her back. Catherine leaned back into him drawing out this time alone for as long as possible. A faint voice asked, "Hold me."

His hands had been lightly petting the sides of her body in long even strokes, but he did as she requested and engulfed her torso in his arms. The brazenness he displayed during their kiss had now melted into wariness of 'what now?' He had shown his hand and inner most feelings, yet still after the afternoon of bonding and her participation back, he was cynical. Old habits and insecurities were hard to beat down.

In a shaky voice, "Cath..."

"Shhh, just a few minutes like this before...."

She did not finish her thought as she wasn't sure of what her thoughts were. She wasn't disturbed over their kiss; on the contrary, the suddenness of it had just caught her off guard. Catherine knew Gil well enough to take baby steps regarding getting closer to him and she had a summer long plan to do just that. She had never considered a scenario where Gil would have taken the initiative, and this one turn of events both thrilled and bothered her. Standing in the water, under the starry sky, and being held by her one true friend, Cath battled her ego. As much as she needed and loved being in control, especially with men, she would have to relinquish some of that control to Gil for this to work.

Meanwhile, Gil was standing in the same water, under the same sky and protectively holding his one true friend while he was battling with his confidence. He was still haunted by the mishandling of events with Lady Heather. He had broken down and allowed her into is private world. At the time it felt right and was wonderful, but like everything in his personal life it went sour – real fast. What if the same thing happened with Cath? Would his behavior drive her away in the end? Would they be able to go back to being just friends? Fear, it was always the fear of the unknown that had always crippled the smart scientist time and time again. Yet he could never figure out where this fear originated and how to gain the upper hand so it would not control his life.

Catherine unfolded her arms and pulled her body off of his. Gil sensed this quiet time was over and released her from the hug. Without a word he followed Cath to the ladder and watched her climb up and then down the other side before doing the same. When he turned around, Cath was there to lightly rap a fist on his chest.

She kept her head down. "I have a pair of sweatpants still…."

His one hand covered her. "If you don't mind, I rather put on my jumpsuit than…."

"That was stupid of me, I should've known better."

"You were being thoughtful and…."

The ghost of Eddie Willows made this abbreviated conversation awkward. Gil never liked her dead ex-husband, and truth be told, part of it was because certain Ed traits reminded Gil of his undesirable behavior around women. Yes it was a hard pill for him to swallow; Dr. Grissom was a selfish man. He had no wife, no partner, and no significant other because that would require concessions on his part. Being an only child was quiet possibly the culprit behind an attitude of never considering or accepting the fact that to make a partnership work, both sides needed to give a little. Granted he had made a considerate effort over the past year to be more open with Catherine, but that was just surface stuff. On the verge of taking their friendship to an elite pinnacle, he still was not one hundred percent sure he was capable of such an endeavor.

Water dripped off their swimsuits while streams of water ran down their bodies. They stood there looking for a way to get beyond the rift that had always been between them, the 'Eddie barrier.' The prickly silence hung over them like a black vulture waiting to devour the remains of a hapless critter. There are specific circumstances that call for action rather than words and Catherine felt it here. She elevated up on her tip-toes, gracefully raised her head and tenderly kissed Gil's lips; smoothing away the past, the accusations the arguments, and all the old hurts.

Gil returned the tender kiss allowing only their lips to stroke and waltz together. His hands cupped her buttocks keeping her and this moment from an abrupt termination. His sexual appetite easily switched to cruise control. This element of an affair was effortless and he was skilled at. The chaste kiss lingered like a handcrafted chime that tinkles from the warm desert breeze. This should have been how their first kiss went, then building to a more passionate expression, but circumstances reversed the order and neither complained.

Catherine's hands rested on his broad shoulders as her toes had relaxed down long ago. The more secrets that emanated out of this recluse-man, the more tempting it was not to stop. In the back of her mind, Cath knew with Lindsey in the house, this would be as far as they would go tonight. Besides, after the sonic speed she leapt into bed with Chris, she wanted to build a better foundation with Gil.

"Ahh, hmm.." Around kisses, Cath finished her sentence in broken pieces. "..very nice, but…. someone…. is waiting….. for us."

Gil's answer of 'I know' never made it past his brain. His grip tightened on her cheeks while his mouth swiftly moved down to her chin. A tip of a tongue traced along her jaw line before widening out and diving down her neck to taste more of this woman.

A cry was stifled to a faint throaty, "Oh God."

Cath gnawed her bottom lip from his tongue surfing and as his coarse beard beset her silky neck. He crossed her throat to get to the other side and give it the same treatment. She squirmed and bucked into his pelvis until he returned once again to her lips.

With his heart now beating faster, he murmured across her lips. "You taste so good."

It took Cath a few moments to get her bearings and process her astonishment at this side of him. Not that she had a problem with his blatant lust, she was just taken by surprise. In the last few weeks, the thought of Gil being so physical of a lover never entered her mind, but now, this revelation was icing on the cake.

"Uh, hmm…Linds in the house. Sooo….." She stumbled over her thoughts.

Gil smirked at seeing Catherine in a state of disorientation while his male ego glowed with pride that he was the cause. "We should get dried off and go in." He walked a few feet to retrieve her towel so he could place it over her shoulders. "Here you go." He then walked back for his and scrubbed his hair somewhat dry.

Catherine pulled the towel tightly around her body and silently walked to the patio door. Just before she could slide it open, Gil called out. "Toss me, my car keys please."

She retrieved them from the crystal bowl sitting on top of a small table by the front door. On her way to and from, she told to her daughter to get ready for bed before they began a game of Uno. Sliding the back door open again, she gave a low two-tone whistle. When Gil looked up, Cath underhand tossed his key ring towards him. Catching them in mid-air gave him the image of the star quarterback making the winning play. Not known for his athletic ability, the nerdy scientist grinned at the beautiful cheerleader.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The three sat down to play a friendly card game that didn't require much thought other than matching colors or numbers. Catherine had changed into a soft pastel sweat suit, while Gil opted to leave the jumpsuit in the car. He grabbed his extra bag complete with underwear and a pair of jeans. It was obvious from the initial go around that the women were going to load the lone man down with all the cards they could. Gil decided to be quiet and take it like a man allowing the Willows girls to have fun at his expense. He smiled to himself with the knowledge that he would bury both of them in a game of poker.

When Catherine counted the twelfth yawn to scrunch Lindsey's sleepy face, she stopped the game and informed her it was bed time. For once the stubborn little girl did not put up much of a fight and drowsily got up to hug her mother goodnight. She was just about at the doorway when she spun around and scurried back to the table. Before mom could say 'Linds get to bed,' the little blonde wrapped her pajama clad arms around Gil's neck, hugging as her slumber tainted voice said. "Night Mr. Gil."

An unused instinct filled the life-long bachelor making his right arm come up and hug the little girl back. He didn't allow her to turn away until he had placed a tender kiss on her forehead and wished her sweet dreams. Gil never heard the motherly promise to tuck her daughter in. Instead, his surroundings blurred from view as the thought and wish to have had the chance to be a father jab at his gut. He had never allowed himself to daydream down this path before, but in this moment, it now consumed him. A quiver that would not stop ran down his throat, joining the reverse tremor that run upward from his stomach.

The inquiring scientist was left with the internal question; just how would it feel to be a dad from conception through present day? He had no experience even close to compare it to. There was nothing in his past that would offer him the luxury to pretend. The only answer that came back was one of deep loss. For whatever reason, he has missed out on the joys of being a parent and his eyes began to mist at the emptiness it had left on his soul. The amused voice of Catherine interrupted his newfound depression.

Looking up at her with a totally lost look in his eyes, "Huh?"

She continued to shuffle the cards back into a neat pile, not looking up to see the sad expression that cascaded over his features. "I said it looks like you charmed another lady today."

Still in a daze from the current dive his spirits had just taken. "Another?"

"Oh please, how many times are you going to make me say it? I'll be right back."

Catherine thought he was playing some warped Grissom-like game with her and she refused to pander to him any further. She left the kitchen to tuck Lindsey into bed. Although she had been mulling over making Gil an offer, she really had thought around his birthday would be a more appropriate time table considering his past. As she closed her daughter's bedroom door, she decided to go back and have the conversation tonight.

She swallowed down the lump in her throat and walked into the kitchen. Gil was shuffling the deck of Uno cards in a meticulous manner. Cath came up behind him and whispered in his right ear. "Come with me, there something I want to talk about."

Intrigued replaced his melancholy mood as he stood to follow her to an unknown location. Pausing first by the patio door thinking the cover of night might help any shades of embarrassment that would arise. Hmm, on the other hand now was not the time to hide from each other. She turned to face the living room to see the choice of the lone sofa or two reading chairs by the window. _(Damn! Why is this house so small?)_ Yes a ranch home in the middle of the desert was easier to cool than a two-story home, but it caused finding a private space out of earshot of a precocious little girl – impossible!

Catherine's bedroom was at the opposite end of the hall from Lindsey's, but she dare not consider that temptation. Sighing in frustration, she settled for the sofa in the living room with the hope that between a shut door and afternoon of fun had zapped all the energy out of her daughter. Settling down with one leg bent under her, she patted the seat cushion next to her. At this point, Gil reluctantly sat down after the drawn out march around the house. In that time, doubt started to creep into the back of his mind that what Cath wanted to tell him was going to be that they should not get 'involved.'

The way she tried to start talking only added fuel to this line of thinking. "Ahh ummm I."

A nervous giggle stopped her opening statement, forcing her to go back to start. "All right, here's the deal."

Once again she stopped and had to think. This wasn't so much a deal as it was an offer. "I want to make you an offer. Wait, really the offer is for both of us….you see."

Cath began to play with her hair hoping he would help prod this 'offer' out by asking the obvious. All his help consisted of a sincere. "I'm listening."

So much for sounding chic as all at once she gushed out. "I've been thinking and this is the thing. Look, I'm way past falling head-over heels in love at this age in my life. In fact, I don't see myself getting married again, ever. I'm finally making a good living on my own in a respectable job and I don't have the desire to do the dating scene. If I'm not at work then I'm with Linds and right now in my life I don't have the time to get to know some guy that one: will cheat on me anyway. Two, will get tired of me not making time for him. Three, will take away precious time with my daughter. And four, well I'll come back to four."

Catherine took a deep fortifying breath to continue her ramble. "Now hear me all out before saying anything. We have known each other for over sixteen years and I think it's safe to say lately we been getting closer. Now I know you pretty well or at least as well as you'll let me, and I see you don't have the desire either to take the time and effort to meet women. I mean in reality what woman is going to put up with your work habits? We both know if you tried, you'd end up like me, divorced. So we are both in the same predicament. Now I'm comfortable with you and as demonstrated a few minutes ago, Linds really likes having you around. I get the sense that you don't mind hanging around with us, so logic says this could work. You have to know up front that I only expect your friendship and companionship, of course when we each feel the need. But, I would never expect you to take on the role of Lind's father."

She stopped for one more breath and to mentally run through her check list. "Ummm, I think that covers the basics, ohh, yes and four, we both are adults who still have certain needs. My needs might run higher than yours, but I'm willing to deal. So what do you say, would you become my lover?"

Gil's head was spinning as he tried to keep up and string together the logic the strawberry-blonde jabbered out. She looked at him with wide eyes and an anxious smile waiting for his reply. He stared blankly at her as if she was talking the whole time in Chinese.

TBC


	10. Chapter Ten

Note: Even though the TV show is in season five, where we are in this story is only one month after 'Bloodlines' which makes it towards the end of June 04.

For those who would like to read the original NC-17 version, sorry but you gotta go toThe Graveyard Shift websitelater this week or next.

Thanks to Gomey for her proofing, for Rosie's inspiration, and y'all that send in reviews.

**Chapter Ten**

The living room only had a couple of table lamps turned on, but for Gil, it felt like a huge hot spotlight was shining down on him. He prided himself on having a very good memory, yet only bits and pieces of Catherine's exposition had stuck in the grey matter between his ears. Wanting to clearly understand and digest what she just said, he asked. "Can you restate that and this time go slower?"

"Sorry, guess I was a little nervous."

She brought her other leg up and crossed them under her rump. After rocking back and forth several times, she stopped when she had a whole new way to approach the subject. Leaning forwards toward Gil she started anew. "Okay, take two. I've been looking at our situation, and we work in this uncommon job that requires long hours. Both of us are approaching fifty faster than we'd like to admit and…yes, Eddie burned me bad. I have issues that….truth be told, I'm gunshy of getting married again. I'm afraid of allowing myself to think that every new man I meet could be 'the guy' that won't break my heart. You know how it is. Come on, tell me you don't feel the same way?"

Gil rubbed his face with one hand. He knew exactly what she was referring to and why she had come to that conclusion. Looking at Cath's childlike expression waiting to be validated, he couldn't continue letting her believe a lie. She had the right to know the truth so she could retract her offer. It was the gentlemanly thing to do, besides he wanted to prove to himself that he was making a concerted effort not to keep secrets.

His hand reached over and covered her two. This simple gesture silently requested her to accept the truth of his inner shame and forgive him for it. "No, I don't feel the same way. I'm sorry that I allowed you to think that I had my heart broken once and that was why I was still single and not dating much. It was easier to say nothing at the time than to tell you the truth. God knows I'm not proud of this, but it's only fair that you know before….we continue this conversation."

He stopped to take a breath and gather his courage. "Cath I'm….when it come to women, I'm a bastard."

She pulled back from his blunt description of himself. "Whoa, that one you have to explain."

Setting his clasped hands in his lap, "Sure. I'll ask a woman out with good intentions, but as things progress, I…I fail to take her aspirations into consideration. I have always put my interests and job first. No woman or relationship has ever made it to the top of my priority list. "

"So you're the guy that after a great time together, I don't hear from again for quite some time?"

"Sadly, yes."

Cath fully digested that reality. "Hey, that's fine with me because I'm not looking for a commitment either. Okay, so I misunderstood the motive behind your reluctance to get in a romantic relationship, but the end result is the same. That's the beauty of this offer. Neither one of us has to promise our undying love forever and ever crap. We already have this strong friendship…"

Gil interrupted, "You don't think that it could get messed up if we….."

"Hey, anything is possible, but for now I can't foresee any problems. I suppose if one of us actually falls in love with the other and then gets all possessive, that could be a problem."

"Hmm, true. Would you get mad if I wanted to spoil Lindsey?"

"It would be hard to get mad at the greatest guy I know who actually likes my child and not faking it just to get in my pants."

He rolled his eyes at her vocabulary. "Very poetic."

"Seriously, I would be honored if you would like to be a father-figure to her. She certainly has warmed up to you lately and I think having a male role model in her life will keep her from seeking that from boys later. Just promise me that you won't get her a car or pay for spring break at some nude beach."

"I solemnly promise no indulgences like that. Besides, I know better than to get her mother mad."

She patted his knee. "Smart boy."

Having his own concerns about messing up their friendship, Gil started his line of questions. "So let me see if I understand…you don't expect flowers on obscure anniversary dates that you remember and think that I should too?"

Smiling at his funny question, "No, but if you are so inclined to remember a birthday, I won't complain."

"And if you think I did something wrong, you won't let it fester for an inordinate period of time, and then take it out on me out of the blue at some random time two months later?"

This made Catherine giggle and shake her head no. "No, I think I'm secure enough to let you know right then and there and then demand atonement on the spot."

The way she pronounced the word demand conjured up a kinky image in his head of Cath wheeling a leather whip. "Good. So anything we reveal in private won't be used as ammo in public?"

"Most certainly not."

"What about dating other people?"

Quickly she shot back. "Why, you got someone else lined up?"

"No, but…." Raising a hand, he softly brushed her cheek. "…it would be unrealistic of me to think that as beautiful as you are that men won't be asking you out constantly. I wouldn't want to get in the way of your happiness."

While he spoke, Catherine's one hand joined his to keep it warming her face. Looking up into his eyes, her voice whispered out. "Gil, you make me happy."

Sliding his hand to the back of her neck to pull her closer he whispered back. "And you make me happy, but the future is uncertain."

With one arm draped over his shoulder and the other around his waist, Cath whispered on his lips. "And tomorrow one of us could get run over by a tram."

"Point taken." Their lips locked forcefully in a kiss that picked up where they left off before Lindsey's interruption.

For Gil, a liberating feeling now flowed through him. His early worries of ruining an affair with Catherine because of his selfish habits were put to rest. She had known him a long time, she accepted him as he was. Now, best of all, was the fact that she wanted him as is with no desire for him to replace Eddie as a father and husband. He was free to offer only what he was capable of and no more. She was right, tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

He detached from her plump lips to lean away enough to focus on her face. His hands stroked her head and hair in a way that was both dominate and adoring. "Lovers it is."

He stood up and held out a hand for Cath to take. When she lagged on the sofa, he said. "Come on."

She jumped up and immediately whispered loudly. "No, not here, not now. My number one rule is no sex when Lindsey is in the house."

Gil firmly stood his ground in a stare down with the fiery blonde. Moments past until he suddenly bent down and scooped her up over his shoulder. The shock in her strained voice was evident as she began to grip. "Gilll…. put me down."

She kicked her feet and pounded on his back, but that was not enough to stop his trek. Before he reached the hallway, he slapped her butt and whispered. "Shhhh, you'll wake Linds."

Flipping the wall switch down to turn off the living room light, he continued down the hall to her bedroom. Every time she struggled in his grasp, he would spank the tight round cheek that was pressed into his face. Quietly he closed the bedroom door, and stopping at the side of the bed, deposited her down. Scrambling up to a sitting position, Catherine started her protest anew, but not with the same vigor as a minute earlier.

Gil politely listened to all her motherly reasons while drinking in how the light from the side table highlighted her structure from behind. The yellowy lampshade exquisitely illuminated her golden locks while only the thinnest of beams outlined her curvy figure. The image was nothing new, but the surroundings were heightening the erotic sensations running in his veins. Kneeling in front of her and holding her hands in his, he silently nodded to her sermon.

A smirk preceded his response. "Yes, those are all valid reasons and I would comply." Circling his thumbs continuously over her smaller hands, his voice dropped an octave. "But, you invited me to your pool party, you blatantly tormented me with a wet bathing suit, you tantalized me with your expressive mouth and then to top it off you asked me to be your lover." A stunted chuckle vibrated in his throat before continuing. "My dear, you overestimate my restraint to be satisfied with going home now and settling for masturbation."

Gil slowly shook his head no while his hands slid down her outer thighs. "Besides, it would be a shame if we let the opportunity pass and one of us got run over by a tram tomorrow."

Lowering his eyes from her big blues, he oversaw the path of his hands as they traveled up her inner thighs pushing them further apart as they climbed. Catherine had given up any rational objection and was giving in to his advances. If it was any other man who dared give her the whole caveman behavior, she would have kicked him in the nuts and out the door. But physically experiencing the cerebral scientist's etiquette be easily over ridden by a fundamental primal impulse was far more arousing than anything she had read or dreamt of.

She couldn't help but stare in awe as he lowered his head between her legs **-Begin radio edit...**

**zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz**

**zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz**

**zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz**

**...Lift radio edit**

Uncharacteristically she sat limply on him with hunched shoulders. Stroking his bare chest, "Hmm, that hit the spot."

Coming off his high, "Yeah." The physical afterglow that radiated off his skin was joined by an inside masculine pride knowing that Catherine Willows was sexually satisfied by one Gil Grissom. "Umm, awkward moment number two. You want me to leave now?"

In a teasing tone, she asked back. "You think I'm that kind of a girl, love'm and leave'm?"

"Actually, I think you could go either way. Besides it's best we communicate our expectations."

"Ha! Good Lord, I can't believe that just came out of your mouth. Mr. Tightlip wants to talk?"

Gil pushed up on one elbow while his right hand stroked her left cheek. "I've been trying to change."

"I've noticed and I like the changes you're working on." Her small hands wrapped around his out stretched arm. "I would love for you to stay, but only if you're comfortable with that."

Sweeping a thumb across her lips, "I'm very comfortable with you. When does Linds wake up?"

"Usually by seven."

"I'll sneak out before she wakes up, but right now there's something I would like to do." Moving his hand from her face to her back, he leaned her forward. Licking and sucking each breast was what he wanted to do.

Cath fell to the side to lay on her back allowing Gil to take the superior position. When she felt a twitch on her leg, she had to chuckle at the thought. Yes, he was indeed a wild mustang – thank you God!

TBC


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

The old saying that time marches on is true whether we pay attention or not. So it was for friends and lovers, Gil and Cath after that night together. Without really paying attention the girl's trip to Disney's Magic Kingdom and other Florida adventures came quickly, yet that week apart moved slowly for them. Those five little days took on a life of their own and via the phone and at a great distance, unveiled some hidden sentiments.

What a miracle cell phones are. They let you reach out and touch someone while standing in line for a ride, sitting at a table letting your food settle or laying on a beach watching your daughter play in the Atlantic Ocean. They are a great way to fill the emptiness of a vehicle while driving to and from work, and they can brighten a townhouse more than the Las Vegas noon sun itself.

It seemed a day couldn't go by without one calling the other just to hear a cherished voice. When the week was finally over, Gil was there at the airport to pick them up. The long heartfelt hug they exchanged in public is was major coming out for the twosome. Even Lindsey received a hug from Mr. Gil before heading for the luggage carrousel to gather suitcases that magically got heavier over the past week.

The rest of the evening was spent unpacking and telling stories of their vacation. The next morning when Lindsey came into the living room, she found her mom and Mr. Gil drinking coffee and reading the Sunday paper. The previous evening they had decided there was no point in hiding their relationship from Linds any longer. By the end of that summer, Sundays developed into family day for Gil and the girls.

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Time ticked by as weeks turned into months and months into years. People slowly adapt to the latest situations in their lives and new schedules seemed to form all on their own. The intense sexual lust that consume a person's attention span eventually dies down to a simmer and allows a well developed bond to take place. And so it was for Gil and Cath. The motivation to get together progressively changed from sexual gratification to a deep loving companionship.

During that special summer, Sara returned to work, but continued to see a therapist once a week to deal with her inner demons. As time passed however, she was unable to come to peace with the words that were exchanged when Grissom had to drive her home that May morning. In fact, it became almost excruciating for her as the object of her affection went about his life as though he had forgotten about that morning. Many a day she seriously considered leaving Vegas and going back to San Francisco, but her self-detrimental obsession to see Grissom everyday squashed those prudent voices.

And then there was Greg, who was able to find a suitable DNA technician to replace him in the lab, which freed him to go out into the field full time. Gil took young Greg under his wing and for the next two years worked almost exclusively with him. In that time, Greg passed his efficiently test to become a rookie CSI and continued to work hard each day getting closer to Level Two status.

With Gil and Cath splitting up the duties managing the night shift, Director Cavallo didn't see any reason to change the arrangement. And that didn't bother the two of them either. Neither was burdened with all the responsibilities, and that was a benefit to both.

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On a typical evening with a conventional crime to investigate, Gil and Greg responded to an assault and battery. They met Detective Vega in the parking lot of a gay bar to process the victim's car and immediate surroundings. The initial information at the bar looked like they were dealing with a hate crime. Gil thought it best to accompany Greg to the hospital and help collect the gentleman's cloths and look for additional evidence. When the two CSI's stepped out of the elevator onto the third floor, they were greeted by a loud commotion. As they walked towards the room of the assault victim, the voices grew louder in volume. Drawing nearer, the words became clear and by the time they were outside of the room they understood the nature of the fuss. A man around sixty was distraught and begging the security guards to let him in the room. Apparently because the man was not a relative to the victim, so he was not allowed in.

Gil immediately became interested in who this man was and asked if he could speak with him to help the investigation. The man agreed which allowed Greg to slip in the room to process the victim. Moving down the hallway to the visitor's sitting area, Gil began to question the older man. During the interview he learned all about the twenty-plus years these two men were together. It was a true marriage in all aspects except that it wasn't legal in the eyes of the law. Thus, the reason for the commotion earlier. With no legal certificate showing a relationship, the victim's life partner had no recourse to see his hearts love or the right to take him off life support. The victim was beaten so badly that he was now a vegetable laying in a hospital bed surrounded by strangers.

The topic of gay marriage goes much deeper than just sex; all the rights given to hetro-couples are closed off to gay couples. You can spend a whole lifetime with one person, but because you are not a blood relative or have a marriage certificate, you are not allowed to see that person on their death bed. All that Gil learned weighed heavy on his mind the rest of that shift and days later.

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The following Saturday at Catherine's house, Gil was unusually quiet during dinner and while watching a rented movie. It wasn't until they were in bed that Cath inquired about his mood. Just like many times before, he opened up and related the disturbing case days before. While listening to the tale, her eyes misted up and held his hand in support. They talked about the circumstances and how unfair, heartless and what asses lawmakers could be.

Sorrow hung heavy in the room until Gil said. "Cath, the past two years you and Linds have become my family in so many ways. What if we had to deal with that situation? I'd hate the thought of not being allowed to see you or Linds."

"I know how you feel."

"You do?"

"Of course."

"That's a relief. I wasn't sure how to go about asking you to marry me?"

Taken aback with delight, she beamed a brilliant smile at him until her logic kicked her in the gut. She did love him, but she promised herself never to allow her heart to rule her life again. Her smile disappeared and was replaced by a stern look as anger began to build. "Marry you? You want me to marry you so you have a legal partner to take care of you in case of an accident. That just figures. Your right, you are a bastard and I'm stupid enough to think you loved me."

Gil was stunned and offered a meager, "But, I do love you."

"Really? And just how would I know that? Because you trust me to baby-sit you damn spiders when you have an out of town lecture? Because we share a bed on weekends? No, that's not the definition I was thinking of." She pointed a finger at him, "Your only motivation to ask me to marry you after two years together is so you don't wind up like poor soul in the hospital. Well Mr. Selfish, I have news for you, I have a family. My mother, sister, Linds and even Sam if it came down to it. So don't think your doing me any huge favors." Cath shook her head at how little he actually changed.

"So……are you saying that you don't love me?"

"Jesus, are you that dense? In all this time you couldn't see that I do love you? Christ Gil, all you had to do was show it back? Even if you couldn't spit the words out, you could've just showed me. Or is it too much to ask that you somehow communicate that I'm more than a buddy to you before asking to marry you?"

"Tell me how to prove to you that….that I love you?

"I can't tell you. You have to do this on your own. You have to find out if you are capable of loving another person unconditionally. You have to look into your heart and if you do love me, then it will tell you how to go about winning my hand. Dear Gil, if I told you, then it would mean nothing and I can't marry a man based on nothing."

Catherine leaned over and turned off the bedside lamp. "Good night."

Gil sat there most of the night replaying the words she said. He listened to her sleep, the slow steady breathing of a deep slumber. He was fifty years old and his inability to give of himself was still as strong as ever. As much as he thought he had changed, he had not changed at the core, he was still a bastard only thinking and doing for himself. She was right, he never hinted or spoke that she was more than a 'special friend.'

If it wasn't for that one case, would he have ever considered marriage? Maybe it was time to get to the bottom of his inability to show love. He grudgingly admitted to his ego that he could not do this on his own. He needed help in the form of a therapist and hopefully he could then unlock the mystery that lurked inside. Having exhausted his mind, he closed his eyes in the wee hours of the morning and prayed that he could change in order not loose Catherine.

_**The End**_

Just want to let the G/C fans know that this is the last Gil & Cath fic I will probably write for the foreseeable future. I am satisfied with the different ways I have explored the character Catherine, and seeing I don't like to repeat scenarios, that's all folks.

For those fans who like my particular writing style and are not fixated on one ship, I have found the character of Sofia very fascinating and have been planning a fic with her. Also, because of the problems I have had at this website, I have found a new home to archive ALL my fics. Even though they are not completely up and running, do check them out. _(click profile for address)_

Thanksfor reading my little storyand I'll see ya around. Tazzer


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